I know that ERP is the gold standard and it has worked great for my anxiety, but if depression is really bad, I don’t understand how exposing myself to “I’m a failure, I won’t get better, I’m truly horrible” for moral OCD is helping me to not do compulsions. It’s just convincing me it’s true because my depression already says these things
You dont have to turn the exposure into its own obsession. When you're done doing the exposure, give yourself a break! After you do the exercise its okay to notice the depressed thoughts and not buy into them, I think. I definitely had phases where i felt like ERP wasn't working for a few days before it did. Even if those moral OCD thoughts are coming from a diseased place, its practicing facing your fear that helps you move past them and get on with your life, so you really do have to let yourself feel shit full force before your brain will be okay letting go. If youre always telling yourself "That's not really true, though, thats just my depression talking," then your OCD will be able to say, "But what if its actually true? What if I'm deluding myself and i actually am a horrible person?" So you have to kinda go, "Okay, im a horrible person, then!" and let your brain figure out that you can in fact go on and live your life without certainty that you're a good person.
@Anonymous I usually have the opposite and I’m leaning into almost convincing myself those things are true. I don’t argue them, I wallow in them
Then you might try the opposite? "What if I'm actually a good person?" Maybe there's some kind of reassurance youre getting from identifying as a bad person.
You don't have to expose in that way. No good idea. You expose by letting the thoughts be there and not arguing with them. Are you in therapy now? Have you told about your depression?
@Estrid Yes with NOCD, my therapist wants me to lean into it which means not trying to avoid it which means I have to repeat it over and over to myself
@r.m.1 I don't agree with that therapist...I know some do that way, but I think it's stupid. We have to sit with the thoughts about this and that and the uncertainty around - but to feed into lies, no I don't like that.
@Estrid How do you do ERP?
@r.m.1 By resisting the compulsions and allowing the thoughts to be there, I use non-engagment statements like "ok, interesting" and shrug my shoulders. I have been to cbt and erp several times - I have done imaginals and listened to, like "maybe bla bla, I don't know..." but never I have been told to repeat destructive words like you describe it. I also recommend ICBT.com and OCD space on you tube. I like that kind of treatment - it's about learning to trust yourself again and it has helped me in addition to classic cbt.
I find while doing exposures, rarely does my anxiety lessen. It usually amps up and stays that way for the remainder of the day. I could be having a fairly decent day, but dutifully do my exposures and then the rest of my day is anxiety filled. I guess that’s just how it is now? Also, I’m wondering if my therapist even believes I have OCD. I totally understand my therapist cannot provide reassurance. But it’s to the point it seems my therapist acts like I actually did the thing I fear. I feel so isolated.
I’m thinking about doing erp but my ocd is so severe the thought of accepting my fears happening to me makes me sick to my stomach. I also believe in the power of my words and saying I accept this Bad thing will attract it into my life. I’m not sure what I should do🥲
I read about ERP and have seen information about it on here. One of the goals is to say, "maybe I am this or that...ect." That terrified me. The thoughts and images that go in my head are disturbing and upsetting. I don't want to even think about saying, "maybe this or that." It's devasting to have these thoughts and question why you're having these thoughts. Doesn't the "maybe" make it worse? The one thing that helps me is that is to remind myself that these are just thoughts and I know I'm not a monster, even if I feel like one. Is ERP not for everyone? Has anyone else had a problem with the techniques used in this kind of therapy? I had cognitive therapy for years with an OCD specialist and that seemed to help a lot. Writing out the worst case scenarios would make me suicidal. Im having a difficult time not obsessing over the "maybe" after intrusive thoughts now. It doesn't make it better.
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