vent: punished for having ocd

having ocd is hard because not only am i dealing with something that im aware is so irrational, but i’m also shamed and punished and ridiculed for it in my family. i’m 21 and a college student and still live w my family, and my contamination ocd is getting worse. the stress of my compulsions are only making it worse. my hands have begun to be raw from washing them so much and my dad (who doesn’t really believe in mental illness and doesn’t know i’m diagnosed with ocd) is saying he’ll “take away all the lotion in the house so that i can’t use any which will make me stop washing my hands so much”. it just feels so frustrating bc im not even using any lotion since it contributes to my ocd. my oldest sister also makes fun of me for also having ocd and calls me sick and ridicules me. it’s not like i asked to have this life. i wish so badly i was “normal”. not having anyone on my side and encouraging me in a kind way also hurts.

Brogrammer

Date posted: 8w

I know you mentioned your dad doesn’t know you’re diagnosed with OCD. Having family members involved in your therapy so they better understand what you’re going through and why your brain works the way it does can really help. A: it allows them to have compassion and understanding. B: It can provide them with tools and information to help. I am married with my first son and having my wife train with me has been a game changer with our marriage. You got this!

binniee

Date posted: 8w

@Anonymous thank you for the advice and compassion :) unfortunately my dad doesn’t even believe in any mental illnesses, so that’s why he doesn’t know i have ocd. he knows i have “something”, but the moment he found out i was debating going on medication for “a mental illness” from my mom, he immediately started saying why should i need medication, “for what?” , i’ll go insane, etc. that’s why i rather not tell him about my ocd and depression since he’ll say it’s all fake and something sick in my head anyways. i’m not sure if typing it out conveys the actual emotion and ridicule he thinks of it all, but he’s a traditional asian man (many don’t believe in getting help) who doesn’t believe in self help, so 😞

Brogrammer

Date posted: 8w

@binniee I think people that haven’t experienced what goes on in our heads will truly never understand unless they do their own research. I know my therapist on here shared a few Vimeo videos that explain OCD really well. Maybe sit your parents down and make them watch a video like that so they can better understand where you’re coming from? I get the traditional Asian parent mentality and expectations though. I am not Asian but dated an Asian girl for a long time and was close with her family. It’s tough, but if you can’t find support from your family try looking elsewhere through friends, coworkers or others going through the same thing. My wife has a friend who is dealing with the same thing I am and it’s been amazing connecting and sharing tools that work for both of us.

Bonebag

Date posted: 8w

Have you ever told him you struggle this way - or anyone? You have (at least my) permission to claim the space AND accommodations so long as you are in treatment or participating in getting better which you are just by being here 🩵

binniee

Date posted: 8w

@Bonebag it’s quite hard to open up to my family since all of them make me feel stupid for having ocd. this is very new and my family’s more traditional, and ocd isn’t like the typical depression and anxiety, so it’s hard to wrap their heads around

Bonebag

Date posted: 8w

@binniee Awwwww hunny you are so strong🎋thats a lot of weight to bare but I DO hear you and get what you are saying

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