ROCD

I am trying to expose myself and purposely look and notice attractive girls and move on with it don’t let it ruminated or do any physical or mental compulsions and think how I feel and worry but when I notice it why do I feel like I want to do it or get excited because I have a excuse to look at other girls while in a relationship and when I think or feel that way or know when I have a chance to expose myself to it I just don’t because I feel like I might be using this as an expose to do so any advices? Also should I let my girlfriend know I am doing this exposure therapy

Anonymous

Date posted: 6w

Ok I went through this! I thought that overcoming my ROCD would be to intentionally look at attractive girls. Here’s the catch: ROCD is all about comparison, not looking at attractive girls. So, for me at least, I found that my exposures had to be way more nuanced than that. Like “go to the beach and notice that there are attractive people (don’t avoid by staring at the sand) but also don’t stare at them. Look once, acknowledge, then move your gaze back to something else”. Another one is to go to the mall and to BOTH not stare AND not avoid. So the other day I walked past Victoria’s Secret and was like “ok, I’m not going to look over there. I’m going to just fix my gaze away from that store and focus on the reason I am here - to pick something up for my wife”

Anonymous

Date posted: 6w

So it’s two fold: 1. Don’t avoid attractive women 2. Don’t stare at attractive women Think “what would be a respectful, values based way I’d like to live”

Master90

Date posted: 6w

@Anonymous That makes a little more sense thank you. It’s really weird and idk if it’s my compulsion or I am just an a hole but at the beginning of my relationship it wasn’t like this but know if I notice someone attractive I have such a strong and I mean really strong desire to check them out and if I don’t I twitch a lot and I sometimes just look at there direction and kind of look around their figure and past their face but I Can still see them in my vision you know and after I do that it feels slightly better I guess but there are times I get really scared when I know I’ll see an attractive woman and if I ever accidentally or my eyes randomly go on their face or body I have to look away or do a compulsion and repeat it by reenacting how I managed to look at them in the first place and I get super anxious when I am zoned out and I am just looking around and seeing that and I feel like I looked too long because I was zoned out but I knew what I was looking at and obviously I am attracted to it and it sucks and times where I am zoned out but because I see something attractive I zone back in and my anxiety goes really up and my body starts twitching and I do mental and physical compulsion and my brain goes “why did you snap back after you saw her”. Sorry for the really long thing

Master90

Date posted: 6w

@Anonymous This also really stresses me because when I do see them my brain is telling me stuff like oh you want them over your girlfriend like you are losing feelings for your girlfriend completely and you want the other girl over her and to cheat or leave your girlfriend for her and this could be someone from I know to a someone I see on insta that I have no idea who they are and where they live or the most outrageous one a celebrity and it really bothers me because I don’t want to have this urge to look and sometimes when I somehow to see it I just want to look away and not let my brain go into this panic mode and idk how to stop it because it wasn’t like this in our relationship for a while and now it’s been like this probably for a month or 2 most likely 2 again sorry for the long rant

Anonymous

Date posted: 6w

Sounds rough and familiar. Sorry you’re dealing with this. ROCD is a jerk. A few things: 1. Actually plan out and do exposures. If you don’t know how, find an actual ocd therapist (not some random CBT person) 2. Get educated. Read relationship OCD by Sheva Rajaee. Research says those who are educated on OCD deal with it better. 3. Aerobic exercise. Do it. Lots of research around how exercise (not weights, like running and biking and swimming) majorly helps ocd patients. And if you are triggered, go walk or run - research says it calms you down.

BB1224

Date posted: 22w

ROCD, MAKING GF JEALOUS??? Please help me

I just randomly had this thought when I was driving and I’m super anxious. A couple weeks back I was really jealous of my gf and her guy friends playing card games together in one of their classes and I wanted to see if she would get jealous if I was paying more attention to my friends in my class, two boys one girl. She was in the class and my teacher was explaining a card game to one of my friends who is a girl and I was trying to see what he was saying and showing her but I had to get closer to do that and in the back of my mind I think I was trying to make her jealous by being closer to another girl. I’m terrified because I would never flirt or do anything with another girl. That girl also has a boyfriend. I’m just stuck in my thoughts right now and don’t feel like moving or doing anything, I feel like throwing up. Someone please comment and help me

EmmaGrace27

Date posted: 22w

ROCD doing better

So I talked to my therapist about some things, and I’m doing a lot better. I’ve realized I’m obsessed with infatuation and feelings. When I expect to feel really goodly eyed over my boyfriend I don’t, sometimes I am most of the time I’m not. However I cuddle him, have desires for sex with him, I love him, I love being with him, he’s funny, his personality is attractive. I also want my physical attraction to grow. I’m afraid if I don’t look at him an ogle that it means I should be with someone I can do that with.But physical attraction is fleeting. He’s amazing he should be the father of my kids, I am not wanting to give up. This is half ocd half not. I wand to feel a certain way but honesty ? I have to allow myself to feel these things and stop fearing. Like allow myself to reflect on his heart and the things I love instead of focusing on obsessing over something I don’t like.

BB1224

Date posted: 22w

ROCD HELP

So another obsession just popped up and it’s how during school I had a class with this one girl and I would always notice her. Like whenever I looked around my eyes would always go to her. And right now I’m just scared and feel like a terrible boyfriend bc even when something funny happened I would look around but my eyes would find my way to her. Now I feel like I just wanted her to notice me and it feels weird

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

ROCD

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community