Trigger

So today this morning I was doing ok till I got to a point where I ate at McDonald’s with my parents and my brother. We came out of the hospital where they have checked his pace maker. And we went to eat. I’ve asked them a question where I have told them if he could have some.. in this case they have said no he’s had enough. I have a thing if we’re I am not hungry I share. I told them “what am I doing wrong I always do something wrong?” And they said no it’s just you need to stop doing things that make me think you are doing everything wrong. In my mind I kept thinking to myself” why do I do everything wrong.. am I the case if everyone’s stress?.. what if that’s it?” Then I went to the car with that on my mind and I looked over at them with a dirty look then the escalation started from there where I started yelling and they raised there voice at me stating that you don’t do anything wrong we just don’t want you to look at us wrong. That’s when I started crying and started saying I dont want to live in the house anymore.. I need to leave I can’t be here!” Which led to me feeling anxious which led me to cry cause they said if you don’t want to talk to us then stop talking.” Then I started to let the thoughts set in my mind and started to scratch my right thigh.” Idk why but my ocd got the best of me and I started to cry again and asking myself why do I suffer and why did I do this to myself. Seems like I’m getting better and not feeling anxious or anything then boom just hits around the corner.” I feel stupid

Seriously82

Date posted: 17h

I think I’ve had similar problems with my family. A huge part is that none of them have ever been to therapy and since I started NOcD therapy I see (and my therapist corroborates) OCD symptoms in my family members. It’s hard to bridge the gap between those who understand a disorder because they’ve been through therapy (us) and those who think they “know” or “understand” OCD but have never been to therapy. I find it very isolating to feel like you’re making progress on your mental health journey but your loved ones still see you as the same old person, unable to recognize your improvement. I have to meditate on and repeat to myself how I know I’m improving and doing the work, even if I have outbursts at times still, it’s a journey. For me, I’m on this journey, it’s mine not theirs. I’m not stupid, your not stupid. Instead of ruminating on these triggering conversations, I write down or repeat to myself an ERP until I’ve overcome how bothered I am by the situation. I also find positive affirmations help me to move through. Give yourself grace and it’s OK to cry. 💚

Jailyn.h1

Date posted: 12h

@Seriously82 Thank you so much for your response 🫶🏽 I appreciate it. Yeah I feel like I have been trying my hardest to remain in a positive state. I’ve been working hard not to put what I’m feeling on others but as you can see today wasn’t one of them. I feel that whenever I have a good day I don’t have any problems I feel relaxed and I may have a few bumps on health concern anxiety asking for reassurance, blood pressure taking (I mean that’s what I’m getting treated for) and whenever I have days like this I just feel like I need to isolate and just be alone. It is ok to cry and I find ways to cope, like being outside taking deep breaths help. Having my brain focus on literally something like music helps me. Telling myself that I am safe. Touching the grass, having my feet touch the cold floor. Holding ice cubes helps. And I love forward. Sometimes it’s hard when I don’t feel good and try to explain things like how I feel to my parents but I sometimes feel like they don’t understand. I’m a work in progress and I know one day I’ll get to were I need to be despite my outbursts sometimes I know what I’m going through doesn’t define me. Keep going 🫶🏽🫶🏽

savannahframe19

Date posted: 25w

got triggered

my ocd got triggered because i’m scared i won’t get better or have confidence in the future… does anyone have any tips to improve my confidence and avoidant attachment… my mom said i have a illness for being on the phone so much and this is why i don’t tell her anything about mental health because my dad would understand more… i worry a lot and the past few days been so hard because of me liking this guy i’m friends with and then my friend liking him.. it’s been hard and i’ve been having low self esteem where i’m scared if i have depression…i’m scared i will never improve my confidence or improve me being off the phone… i just got triggered and i’m like getting anxious since i don’t have anything straighten out

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 24w

Triggered from NOCD article

Guys for the past couple of hours ive been spiraling! I wad researching and came across this harm ocd article question that has been worrying me. The title was "im scared of hurting someone when I'm mad. Can i trust myself?" And I was thinking "hey that's what ive been worried about for the past several months!" I even AVOID being angry. Im scared of it bc I get a lot of thoughts and I'm hyperaware of my hands and feel them tingly! Last time i tensed so hard to stay still as possible bc I was so so nervous from my thoughts and my hand twitched which made me SPIRAL. I never want to cause harm! And i always start crying after an argument bc the thoughts are so so scary! Anyway I got afraid bc the article said "research has shown that people with ocd don't struggle with impulse control- so if you find yourself intensely worried you could do harm based on the intrusive thoughts or urges you have, it's likely something else is going on." THAT SENTENCE HAS LEFT ME WITH A TON OF ANXIETY! Its so bad, my appetite is gone! I'm scared does this mean I don't have ocd and should be seriously concerned?!

Summ3r_

Date posted: 13w

mini crisis?

so I put this into Gemini a couple mins ago but it just gave me the 988 to text but I feel like I don’t know if these thoughts are genuine or intrusive and just amplified because of how I was feeling. This is what I put in there I’ll just copy and paste. I got talking with my grandma and I felt like I needed to get it out but I just kept thinking deeper and deeper like thoughts like “I can’t do this anymore” or “when will this stop” and I have a lot of suicidal intrusive thoughts and sometimes when I feel in such fear and deep sorrow and dispare these thoughts feel so real that I can’t tell if they’re intrusive. But I immediately push them away of course even though I keep wanting to figure it out or figure out how I can break free from this doubt and second guessing. But it freaked me out that maybe I was actually contemplating or genuinely thinking about it or was close to snapping and giving up. Now I feel like I have to figure out of it was intrusive or not because that’s really serious if it is a real thought. I know it’s apart of ocd to figure it out but I can’t tell if it was my imagination made it seem way more real or when I imagined myself doing something to myself it felt like the probability became higher because I was in a state of severe distress. It’s like a thought when your heart is beating so fast you don’t wish it would stop beating you just want a break from it beating so loud or fast or you want it to get better. Idk I pictured myself just being stuck in my body and it freaked me out too like the fact I cant control what my body is doing. I’ve lost some weight the last couple months bc of stress and it just grosses me out thinking how bad I might be getting. I even started thinking maybe I need to be in a mental hospital. And just admit it and just get more help. The thing is I also felt like I had a decent day today but it took so much out of me trying to resist compulsions and “keeping” the good moment going without extreme fear especially of dying. I get so freaked out by random things even things touching me, certain sounds and wish it could all stop sometimes and I keep running away from things I think are triggers for my anxiety but it feels like it’s getting narrower.

Suicidal OCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Trigger

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community