Anybody struggle with wanting to at least be certain that you don’t know? Reality and laws and rules are pretty clear and therefore you are certain.. and yet my therapist insists that I still don’t know if my act is right or wrong.. god I hate this dam disorder
I am pretty sure I have meta ocd too. I obsess about obsessing, and gauge my reactions to these thoughts to make sure they are not true, and when I feel like I had a positive reaction, my brain tells me “you liked that. You aren’t who you say you are”
@ Fuckin meta haha
Ugh same here honestly. I also have the issue of is it technically OCD or am I just lying to myself and those around me? It’s a constant worry if my compulsions count as compulsions or not 🫠
@The_Ghostly_Butterfly You have to aggressively sit with the uncertainty. Have you seen Harry Potter?
@slippery_salad I’m somewhat familiar with the story but it’s been a little while. Why?
The uncertainty I assume lies in your ability to make a correct assessment of reality - laws and rules alike. The bar is set but how close are you to that bar in being correct with your assessment? You can be certain about something but still be wrong. For me, because we need to navigate and function in this world, I need to place myself somewhere TOWARDS the bar of truth not away from it by proving to myself that I don't know. Perhaps, we have to get comfortable with the space that presumably exists between what we think we know and where the bar is - that is, what the actual truth is. With that being said, I have trouble being certain with what I DO know. Sorry if I misread your comment and didnt give a good reply brother.
@Mike6060 Thats a phenomenal reply! My question back to you, is does the bar (laws and rules) actually exist outside of society? or is it just a culmination of human opinion…
@slippery_salad - Thank you. When it comes to science - I believe it is ultimately outside of society waiting to be theorized and proven by society. Then there is the access and interpretation of it all. Although, I think there is a culmination of human opinion out there around the truth. Sometimes it seems like the more important the information, the more certain I need to be but the less certain I become. The doubt settles in on the things I want to hold on to. I want to be certain I know and you currently want to be certain you don't know (for purposes of being comfortable with uncertainty maybe) and we are met with the opposite. I think the same defense mechanism that protects us from danger is the defense mechanism that protects us from the threat of uncertainty - making us doubt, instinctively sensing other possibilities. Leading us back to trying to get comfortable with uncertainty.
@slippery_salad - Hey would love your feedback on the latest reply - agree or disagree. You have good ideas. Do you think we can maintain a level of confidence with the notion that everything is uncertain -or- just a culmination of human opinion? Someone once told me that the world is subjective to our perception; specifically, that we live in our own world. I think there is an objective truth to things, whether we come to it or not. I am getting comfortable with falling short of it as long as I have certainty or at least confidence in what I think I know. Mike
@Mike6060 You know, Mike, as a Christian, I often sit with these kinds of questions. The conclusion I’ve come to is this: either Christ is real, and all sins, mistakes, and wrongdoings are completely forgivable, or there is no God, and nothing we do ultimately matters anyway. Either way, it takes the weight off guilt and shame, allowing the mind to heal. On a broader level, I believe objective truths do exist. As Plato suggested, there are “forms” we participate in, such as beauty, truth, goodness, and morality, to varying degrees. Yet at the same time, the idea that everything is subjective can also make sense. That is the nature of free thinking. When it comes to OCD and questions like these, I think the key point is that we simply don’t know. A new perspective or way of seeing things might bring some relief, but in the end, uncertainty remains. Religion, morality, and truth could all be objective realities, or they could be human constructs designed for survival. The honest answer is that we just don’t know. But on behalf of my faith, I can say I’ve encountered something deeply healing, something that transcends reason and empirical sense. It is not a realization or a conclusion I have reached, but rather something that exists and brings peace beyond human understanding. It is the power to dissolve guilt, shame, and condemnation, what I would call the grace of God. We know there are creatures that can perceive things we cannot, like animals that see ultraviolet light or hear frequencies far beyond human hearing. Their senses reveal a reality that has always been there, just outside our perception. Maybe grace, or even God Himself, exists in a similar way, within dimensions or realms that our limited human faculties simply cannot detect. So perhaps these powers of truth, grace, and forgiveness are not illusions but real forces operating beyond our comprehension. Or maybe they are not. At the end of the day, we simply don’t know. And that is where Pascal’s Wager comes in. If belief offers meaning, healing, and peace, and if there is even a chance it is true, then choosing faith is, in every sense, the wisest bet we can make.
@slippery_salad - So, our limitations leave us prone to mistakes and sin, whether truth is relative or not, offering a solution of grace when we fall short. Romans 3:23? (I am not Christian as much as Id like to be) Considering the above and Wager's input, why would you want to be certain you don't know? I hope you receive this question with my intention; just trying to stay with your post. Sorry if I am no help at least this was helpful for me and was an interesting dialogue. Plato would agree according to his symposium. :)
@Mike6060 Id love to continue this conversation elsewhere haha. You seem like the kind of people I love talking to!
@Mike6060 I think when you reach a certain level of certainty, or at least think you have, it can drive you absolutely insane, haha. Truly, I’ve learned through trial and error that there’s a deeper peace in not knowing. Sometimes you have to leave certainty at the door if you want to keep your sanity. The saints speak to this beautifully, especially Saint Teresa of Ávila in her Interior Castle. She draws a distinction between self-awareness and humility, recognizing your faults while remaining rooted in God’s love. You can even see a similar lesson in stories like Lot and his wife: when she looks back and turns to a pillar of salt, it’s almost symbolic of the danger in clinging to what’s behind or trying to find absolute certainty about what’s right or wrong. In the end, obsessing over what we can’t know doesn’t bring clarity; it only burdens the soul. There’s wisdom in the old saying: ignorance is bliss.
@slippery_salad - Haha - sure, is there a message option on here?
Hi All, just wondering if anyone here has any tips with dealing with uncertainty? My OCD centres on my being worried that I have committed a crime and can’t remember doing so, I was out last weekend and my mind is telling me I attacked somebody as I got an intrusive thought to do so when passing them in a bar, my therapist says I need to sit with the uncertainty that maybe I did and maybe I didn’t and have to be ok with that But if the answer is yes then how can I be ok with committing a crime and going to jail??, it’s affecting my relationship and I’m going on holiday on Friday and I’m worried it will ruin that, any tips would be greatly appreciated.
17f So basically I think you know this whole accept and sit with the uncertainty thing. It applies to pocd as well. Because you can ruminate, test yourself, seek reassurance as much as you want but it will never be enough for you brain to be sure you are not a P. So you need to sit with "Maybe I am a P maybe not" and just don't do anything about it. So sometimes I can do that. But here comes moral ocd. If I accept the chanse of me being a pedophile, isn't it morally wrong for me to be around children? Look at children? Watch movies with children in it? Cause now I can't even look at children even if it was an accident without freaking out and thinking that I'm a monster. Sometimes it feels morally wrong to leave the house because there is a chanse I can meet a child on the street I genuinely don't know what to do. It feels paralyzing at this point. Seems like I can't do anything. Like I even need to cover children on the screen with my hand when I watch a movie. It's exhausting.
Why does ocd make you feel uncertain about everything. Even the things you knew were 100% certain before. Its so bizarre. All the subtypes like Rocd, Pocd, Hocd you should be 100% certain about these things but ocd makes you feel like you dont know. I sit here know saying in my head I DONT KNOW. its so hard and confusing. I just want to know who I am. Am I a good person like I thought I was and have been my whole life or am I someone else. I just dont know. Its awful
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