I don’t even know if it’s HOCD anymore. I can’t distinguish if I like the thoughts or not. It’s creeping in to every aspect of my life and I never don’t think about it for more than 10 minutes. I have these urges to like come out to my parents even though when I act these out in my head I feel worse. But at the same time, I think my OCD is convincing me that this is my true self. Please reply I really need someone to talk to.
That must be so frustrating and miserable. I know exactly what you're going through. Have you tried ERP?
we have a lot in common. but ocd seems as real as can be! if you were, you would know - simple! this is a disease of doubt and solving a dilemma that cannot be solved... you just live as you want and as little analysis as possible... a lot of analysis gives this result..
@Anonimus ME 🦋 How would I know if I was?
@Anonimus ME 🦋 as you know your name, that's how you would know! It's just something that's in someone, he doesn't wonder about it, he just knows...! Maybe you would be ashamed because you are that, but not suspicious...trust me
@Anonimus ME 🦋 But I read somewhere that it could bring confusion too? At this point every time I see I girl I feel like I’m attracted to her but I wouldn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with her. I am scared to be confused, because I’m scared that’s an actual sign
@ well, maybe, if you are 13 years old, or if you are consciously attracted to being with both sexes, you enjoy being with both, so you are confused about who you are..
@Anonimus ME 🦋 Fuck I am 14 what does that mean?
@Anonimus ME 🦋 Please help I’m 14 does this mean I’m actually gay?
@ no! i don't think you're gay! because I repeat, it's something you would know and it wouldn't bother you! but please go to therapy. I was very young when my OCD started and if I had found a therapist in time I would have saved myself years of pain! You have to tell your parents that you have OCD and that you need therapy..
@Anonimus ME 🦋 thank you, I told them about previous obsessions i had but not this one, and they are taking me to an anxiety and ocd therapist ❤️
@ You don't have to explain your thoughts to anyone! Do it all with your therapist and it will be fine. Be happy that this is an era where everything is available and people talk about it. Parental support means a lot
You don’t want to do them. And if sometimes you have violent thoughts after someone makes you mad that you actually enjoy that happens. You’re not a bad person.
@SAGUI I don’t have harm ocd. Unless you were trying to make a comparison?
@ Isn’t that what HOCD means? Shoot, my bad, bro. Hey, we have the same profile picture 😃
@SAGUI Well it could be both. HOCD for sexual orientation is outdated, but I’m just too lazy to type out SO OCD. Do you you have any advice for SO OCD?
@ Well, do you only get anxiety minutes after having the intrusive thoughts? If not, you’re not gay. And this isn’t like split second no anxiety like, this is a full on fantasy for a few minutes where you don’t feel any anxiety at all.
@SAGUI Yeah right when it pops into my head I start questions and thoughts and I cringe and have fear. But at the same time, it feels like a voice is telling me I want to do it. I hate this
@ Yeah, no. You’re fine.
@SAGUI I also feel like j want to push it out. Is that normal?
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
I feel like I'm lying to myself, like I just don't accept that I'm gay, I don't want to be gay, I don't want to feel any kind of attraction anymore, I want to go to a psychologist to find out if I really have hocd or if it's just an excuse, because it feels like I really am gay, but nothing was authentic, it all started with thoughts that made me panic extremely hard and I felt like crying and I had delusions, I don't understand why this is happening to me, I didn't like any boys before the thoughts appeared, but exactly one day after they appeared, all the boys were attractive, of all ages, I want to recover :( I'm only 17 years old, for about 2 months I've been having thoughts, I don't know what to do, I can't go to a psychologist, I need help :(
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
