Please reply, I need help.

Hello, im pretty sure i have SO OCD but there is a lot of things making me doubt it. By the way, I’ve taken SO OCD tests, always came back with severe SO OCD. I also took general OCD tests, and they came back severe as well. When I always get these results, my brain can’t relax for just one second, so it tells me that I’m lying to the test (I’m not I’m pretty sure at least) and I go back into a cycle of thought, compulsion, VERY temporary relief, the I get thrown back into distress. I just haven’t been diagnosed by a professional yet.I’ve had it for two months now and in the beginning, it was constant stress, fear and intrusive thoughts. I always had a thought about being lesbian in my mind. ALWAYS. But now, since a couple months have passed, I feel like I’m accepting being gay. It’s weird. Like right now my thoughts manly consist of “you’re gay, stop using SO OCD as a coping mechanism” and “you’re thinking about it less because you’ve accepted that you’re gay.” I’m pretty sure I’m not gay, but SO OCD has convinced me otherwise. My attraction to men fluctuates intensity, but it’s always there. My “attraction” to women however, usually just gives me fear, not because I don’t want to be gay, but because I don’t think it’s me and I don’t want to live a life that’s not me. Like my parents are very supportive, and all my friends are allies, so I have nothing to be scared of but losing myself, which I think is a core fear. But now, It’s lingering constantly, but I’m not always feeling terrible like I was in the beginning. It just feels like I’m depressed and in my mind “you’re gay, just accept it” is always there. I DEFINITELY still do compulsions though. I can’t resist. What do I do? I need help.

[Deleted]

Date posted: 6w

Comment deleted by user

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Date posted: 6w

@Ali$t@ir2021 Yeah, I feel the same way when I notice an attractive guy, my brains like “you’re faking it. You just think he’s attractive because you don’t want to be gay and you’re in denial”

AColorsShow

Date posted: 6w

@Ali$t@ir2021 Hey dude, you’re not alone! I actually don’t even have a diagnoses, but over the last few years I’ve come to realize I need to talk to a professional. One thing that helps me is to remember we’re all able to recognize masculine/feminine beauty objectively. It’s the whole reason men and women wanna see themselves in the light of their favorite heroes, celebrities, actors, etc. There’s been times I’m watching a tv show with my fiancée and out of nowhere get SUPER in my head just bc somebody like Jason Momoa came on screen and I can simply recognize he’s a handsome dude lol

AColorsShow

Date posted: 6w

@Ali$t@ir2021 100%. It can feel a little isolating at times, especially when you feel like you’re fighting a thought you’re not actually wanting to think. But that’s the key! You don’t want to think it. You’re not the symptom, you’re just experiencing it.

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Date posted: 6w

@AColorsShow sometimes I can’t tell if I like it or not and that’s what’s killing me 😔

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 6w

Try this video. It might help! https://youtu.be/clOlsecReow?si=YBoBWJEp5Vn97U4u I also highly recommend NOCD. Here's a link to get started with NOCD if you want. https://home.treatmyocd.com/calendar I got a quick diagnosis with NOCD, probably within one or two sessions. All the sessions are over zoom, and they take most insurance. So it's a very easy way to get very good therapy.

micropods

Date posted: 6w

Im not a professional so i cant say u 100% do have OCD , BUT it sounds like u have the symptoms for it What youre feeling is VALID btw It sucks if u cant get diagnosed by a professional rn but what i recommend is for you to continue researching and educating yourself on ocd so u can dive deeper and know more about it in the mean time (like watching youtube videos , other people expiriences, maybe join an ocd community, etc) and maybe (if u want to) get a journal (maybe 2 journals idk) to write down YOUR experiences and what you go through every day to keep track. Maybe it will help if u write down what u consider "symptoms" so when u can get diagnosed it will provide more details etc and also help rule out whats ocd and what might be something else Also for the sexual orientation thing , as a queer person i know how hard it is to figure out what you like or what you are and its okay if youre having a bit of a crisis. Also bisexual people exist btw (just like other sexual orientations as well , this is why its called the lgbtq+ community after all) but anyway, sexualities can vary from people and everyone has different experiences, u dont have to have everything resolved or figured out and u dont have to label yourself if u dont want to. I recommend watching some lgbtq+ videos and talk to other queer people if u need help with this!

[Deleted]

Date posted: 6w

Comment deleted by user

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Date posted: 6w

@Ali$t@ir2021 Yes, like I’m not really consciously accepting it, it’s like my brain is being driven by OCD and I have no control over anything that runs through my mind.

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