Need advice

I have a girl in my life who I adore, me and her had a super rocky start, she had been in so many situationships because men never truly wanted her. Well I sure as hell did. We dated and she got overwhelmed and was confused on what she was feeling, broke up with me. That turned into us being in a situation, which she off and on cut off due to guilt of not knowing how she feels. This lasted from July to January. In January her ex situationship comes down. The guy she first felll for. Our exclusivity wasn’t really stated at this point and we weren’t dating just kissing… the next month she comes to me and we have a chat. I admit how much I love her but she needed to want me or it’s friends and nothing else. from that day forward she has been amazing. Till one day when she has a falling out with her friend and the ex is involved. She tells me that she kissed him when he came for that day. Said she needed to know what she was feeling. So she could truly give me her all. The problem is I had asked if anything happened back then and she lied. I love her so much and I do not want to leave. She has showed remorse and been amazing. She has showed me how much she loves me. She was up at 5 am before I work today making me pancakes. I want to stay. I don’t often think about it anymore I just have been having a flare today. I’m not stupid for doing what I did and pushing on right? So sorry for the huge message

Just trying ...

Date posted: 6w

Hi there. First of all you’re not stupid at all. Love and relationships can be super complicated. OCD can create a lot of black and white thinking but really it’s up to you what boundaries you want to have in a relationship. It sounds like your partner regrets this indiscretion and you have forgiven them. People aren’t perfect we all make a lot of mistakes. If the relationship is good otherwise and you’re happy in it that’s all that really matters. Don’t let ocd convince you that you need to take any action right now. You can always just see how things go and make decisions at a later date.

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

What actions you should take next- depend on if you’re able to regain trust for someone who has lied to you. Trust is the most important part of any friendship and relationship. If you will be able to fully trust her, you can happily continue on :) If this situation will cause you to have doubts about trusting her, maybe this situation won’t be worth your peace of mind. Personally, people have given me the advice to make sure that my issues with a love interest are super boring in the beginning for a good start- cuz relationship issues tend to get rockier after the honeymoon phase. How rocky- will depend on how good the relationship was at the start

Parker_b

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

@Love1another<3 For sure, she hasn’t give me any reason not to trust her since and that happened in January, my ocd is definitely telling me “you won’t be able to let it go”

Love1another<3

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

@Parker_b Oh that’s good then :) If you feel happy and confident in what you have with her, then you can go for it. Ocd is really pesky lol so it will constantly nag at you but ERP will help with that. Just look out for anymore red flags in the future and if you continue to see none, have fun with her and live your best life👍💕

Parker_b

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 6w

Truly appreciate both of you 🙏

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