I feel like SO OCD has given me a constant feeling of dread and anxiety. Like I’m just chilling, or having a good time and then brain pops in a thought like “what if you’re gay” and my smile, heart and stomach drops. Does anyone else feel this way?
Totally understand this. I am, in fact, actually gay, but have a theme of being like "oh no, what if I am trans?" And it can sometimes absolutely drive me crazy. The thing that would scare me most is this uncertainty, because I would be like "how will this drastically change my life?" However, one thing that really helps me keep myself grounded is reassuring confidence in my sense of "self." Being gay or any other identity doesn't change who you are fundamentally as a person. Your morals, hobbies, personality, and potential to do normal things will never change. The most important things that make you, you, will always remain. These intrusive thoughts truly do not reflect anything about you and r just noise.
@Anonymous Great way to phrase this! I had a very similar breakthrough!! In therapy, there came a point where I realized “wait…regardless of any label, I’ll always be me…so who cares about labels?” It was such a relief to feel like I could accept myself for who I was without constantly worrying about sticking a goofy label on my chest! Life was no longer about which narrowly defined box to put myself in—and it became all about living with and loving myself…which was way more fun and so much more fulfilling and carefree. Thanks for your post! 🥂💜
I had something happen to me that made me feel and think like this as a younger teen
@KelsieBJ How did you recover?
@ Honestly I haven’t I’m just now starting my journey as well it’s actually really nice to hear that there are some people that are going through this as well it was an arousal on Facebook or something that started this it even continues even until this day but I relate a lot to u in a lot of ways there are going to be differences but I just got this account today hopefully to overcome this problem
I used to feel this way. I got over my fear by first accepting that I might be. But this was easier for me since it was a little before I committed my life to Jesus. After I committed my life to Him, I then was able to reaffirm my belief in not being lesbian. I do want to add: many people out there have temptations, which we know. But many have temptations to think lustfully about a person of the same gender as us. It is pretty normal to have the thoughts of, “oh she is super attractive,” etc., but we can’t entertain the idea of me and that person doing something that wouldn’t be of God. For example, I’m not going to daydream about her. I’m not going to entertain that idea or think of her lustfully. The Bible clearly states to not be with someone of the same sex, and it also clearly states to not have lust for someone of the same sex. The thoughts in your head aren’t yours. They aren’t of God and they are from the spirit of OCD or the Devil. Don’t give that thought the light of day. Your response to, “what if you’re gay,” should be, “maybe I’m gay, maybe I’m not.” Or, “I may or may not think of someone of the same sex with lust.” We all make mistakes. But as we grow on our journey with God, we learn His will and we work to align ourselves with Him. I, for one, entertained that thought a lot before fully connecting with Him, but I no longer dwell on those times. I no longer make those mistakes, and I recognize that Jesus has forgiven me for my sins. Jesus died for us to be forgiven of our sins, so if we don’t forgive ourselves for our past actions and our current mistakes, then we tell Him that He didn’t do enough. That He got tortured and nailed for nothing. So let us all remember that when OCD tells us we aren’t good enough, when it tells us we are voluntarily sinning, when it tells us we don’t love Him, we - instead of falling into our compulsions and denying everything - acknowledge the thought is there and move on with our life. I hope that all made sense. Please let me know if you have any questions!!! Stay strong ♥️♥️♥️
@JustAJesusLover Thank you! As a Christian, this really helps ♥️
@JustAJesusLover I love this 🩷I struggle with my faith but I still pray to God all the time over this matter telling him what happened and everything in between that I can think of
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
Hello, so I’ve been struggling really badly with so-ocd where I am worried that I’m not actually straight when that’s what I’ve always thought and wanted to be. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 2.5 years now, he’s my first boyfriend and I really love him so much and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I remember one time, before I had struggles with so-ocd, I had a thought along the lines of ‘what if I’m missing out on other men by staying with him’ and it didn’t really cause any anxiety but I felt quite guilty for thinking that. But I moved on. However, right now I’m in the depths of so-ocd it started back in March I believe, and today I had a thought along the lines of ‘what if I never get the opportunity to try being with a woman because I’m in a relationship with a man’ and that has really set me off today. I’ve had a meltdown over it, my chest feels heavy and it felt so real like I actually wanted it and I had a feeling of wanting to be gay even though that’s not what I want in life. Why is this happening to me and I feel so horrible for thinking this like it felt like it was me and not the ocd and that I’m just lying to myself and my boyfriend. I’ve tried scrolling on here to see if anyone has had a similar thought or experience and I am aware that this is reassurance seeking but I just need someone to tell me that I’m okay
I’ve been meaning to ask this question, I’ve been diagnosed with SOOCD last year in November. But I had been struggling with SOOCD for around two years at that time before the diagnosis. Yet I still doubt the diagnosis almost every day. I didn’t continue therapy because I could t afford it. The anxiety symptoms or lower now and sometimes istimewa feels very meh like I don’t even want to answer the questions in my mind and other times it will implode and I’ll cry and feel so much pain in my heart. I cried the other night when I was watching on of chrissie Hodges’ videos. Because I felt so confused I can’t tell what’s real from time to time. I also wanted to ask if it’s normal to see pictures of men like really hot men and feel uncomfortable because I feel pressured to look and if I don’t look and check em out even when I don’t feel like it, I’d feel like I’m in denial and it’s exhausting and I tend to give up on responding to it and I’ll just feel like I’m hiding something and it’ll feel so uncomfortable. And then other times I’ll see a guy and turned on but I’ll still feel anxious and uncomfortable abit because of the thoughts. I’m straight and I do love men my fear is that I’m secretly bi because of the porn and the previous fantasizing I did when I was a teen. I’m 21 rn. It’s hard for me everyday I feel like I’m stuff acting in these negative emotions and like I just can’t breathe and be myself by solely trusting in myself. Because there’s constant doubt. And I’m a girl btw
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