Please give me some advice

My friend messaged me this morning and asked if I wanted to go to the beach with her over spring break. Obviously I said yes because I never get to go anywhere and I asked my parents. They just said maybe and I didn’t think into it. Well I asked my dad a little bit ago and he started telling me all of the bad things that could happen to me if I go down there (not going to elaborate bc I want to keep this short). They made me spiral pretty bad because now I feel like everything will go wrong if I get the chance to go. I just want to be a normal teenager that isn’t driven into fear because of her parents. It’s not that they outright stop me from doing things, rather they manipulate me into being petrified from even trying.

kennadras

Date posted: 2d

i’m so sorry that you’re going through this, it’s not fair for your parents to be using ocd triggers against you to prevent you from doing things. if you’re in therapy, maybe your therapist can help you navigate a way to explain to them that what they’re doing is harmful to you. as someone with agoraphobia currently. don’t withhold from going places and doing things you love out of fear, it only makes the fear worse. you will be less afraid if you continue to expose yourself to these things. the more you feed into the fear and restrict yourself, the harder it will be to do things you enjoy long term. get comfortable with uncertainty! when you think “what if this happens” acknowledge that it’s an ocd thought, and tell yourself things like “maybe it could happen, maybe it won’t” “i don’t need to have this figured out right now” and it will be uncomfortable at first but just sit in that anxiety and uncomfortablility without trying to seek reassurance, or caving in. the more you can do that, the easier it becomes and the less you’ll even think twice about those things. hope you’re doing okay 🫂

Kendall!😛

Date posted: Yesterday

@kennadras Thank you for replying I’m currently not in therapy but I probably need to be. I think they’re projecting their fears onto me but they know how much I struggle with anxiety and OCD. I’m really trying to put myself out there and stop thinking worse scenario. I hope you’re also doing well💕

Court

Date posted: 2d

I’m sorry, that is hard!! I think your parents really love you and so they are just afraid of something happening to you but they need to watch what they say and not project. I would ask them to keep those types of fears to themselves or talk about it with someone else. Or if it becomes unmanageable maybe they can come to a family session with you and your therapist where you can come to a better understanding. A parents job is to make a kid feel safe and seen. Even if they have valid fears, they need to be aware of the words they choose. Something like laying out some simple ground rules for you if you go, for example I had a curfew as a teenager or maybe had to call my parents before bed. They could do that instead of listing off all the bad things that happen

Kendall!😛

Date posted: Yesterday

@Court I know I need to talk to them about how they make feel sometimes but it’s really hard since I come from a family that never talks about that stuff. I’m struggling and I often feel like they don’t understand or even try to. My family always try’s to figure things out for themselves without any help but I don’t want to continue doing that. I know they love me unconditionally and are only worried about my safety but they don’t let me even tell them why I should be allowed to go. I never cause any trouble, make amazing grades, and am honestly quite mature for my age. Also trust me I have tons of ground rules in place, to the point I feel suffocated by them when at sleepovers or out with friends. Thank you for replying btw:)

Court

Date posted: Yesterday

@Kendall!😛 You seem very self aware and mature! I think their trust in you needs to be bigger than their fears. I think therapy could really help if they are open to it. Sending best wishes ✨

Kendall!😛

Date posted: Yesterday

@Court Thank you for saying that and for listening to my story, it really means a lot. I believe you’re right and I might need to give it a try!

Court

Date posted: Yesterday

@Kendall!😛 Ofc! You got this!

daughterofsk...

Date posted: 21w

Issues with my parents

Hey all this is my first post so i’m kind of nervous. I’d like to hear feedback from outside sources and people not directly in my life who might be biased. I am not sure if this is an OCD thing or maybe just an anxiety thing but I would love some advice. I am a night owl and the rest of my family is not. I’m an adult who still lives with my parents since i’m saving money to move out. Every night I stay up until around 12:30 in our living room to relax and wind down with a quiet house (like my own me-time) and then go to bed. My parent’s room is right off the living room and they close their door while I’m awake so they can sleep. They told me not to be up past midnight since their room gets “too stuffy” with the door closed. I haven’t been doing well with midnight but try my best to shut everything off by 12:30 at the latest. They got mad that I don’t listen and now say I am not allowed in the living room after they go to bed. So when they go to bed I have to confine myself to my bedroom. I like my routines and thinking about trying to wind down (by reading or crocheting) in my bed feels wrong because my bed is “for sleeping” only. I feel like I don’t have a comforting safe place to relax before bed now and when I have tried to explain that to them they don’t care and say i’m disrespecting them. I’m curious what you might think about the situation and would appreciate feedback, regardless if i’m in the wrong or not. It makes me wish I didn’t live here but I don’t really have anywhere else to go.

izzy murray

Date posted: 15w

Feeling stuck in my room

Hi everyone. I need someone to talk to right now. My parents won’t like to what I have to say and it is making me feel hopeless. I really want to have a life this year if examples in person school, doing a job, or doing something that will make friends. I don’t have anything. For the past 15 months I have been all alone in my room. My parents forced me to do online because I had ocd. And I have gotten a lot better over this past year. And I feel 100% confident to go to in person school. My parents said that I can’t. And that you can do a program and online school again. I said to myself that I will have a life this year. And I am trying to make that happen. I am begging my parents to let me have a life, but I just feel trapped in my room and in my head. I want to go out and live. I don’t know if I should leave or stay. But at the same token I want to be able to have a life and not be in my room, but then I don’t know if my parents are right or not. Someone please say something cause I think I am about to give up

matchalover123

Date posted: 13w

need advice

i have been dealing with anxiety and ocd like symptoms for the my whole life but they’ve gotten worse the past 2-3 years. im not diagnosed nor on any medications. my boyfriends has been with me nearly every step of the way of this anxiety and is a great help to me. i was raised in a family where anxiety is “just part of life” and everytime i try to talk to my parents about it they shut me down saying things like “i get anxious too” or “you need to work out more”. while i’ve tried to do the things they recommend, eating healthy, working out, staying off my phone, my anxiety is very much still there. i experience obsessions and compulsions frequently but have just learned to deal with them because i had to. they’re also not always constant anymore, i do have days without anxiety. my boyfriend has recently started lexapro and is on 5 milligrams for his own anxiety and he said that he feels so much better even after just two weeks and he thinks it wouldn’t be a bad idea to try to get on it myself. i agreed at first but after talking to my parents they again made me feel like my anxiety wasn’t bad enough or that i was making it up and that i didn’t need medication, i just needed to learn how to manage. yesterday i had another conversation with my boyfriend about this and he said he felt really bad about all the stuff i go through. (this anxiety and also some physical issues which is either EDS or POTS) but to me, and how my parents think of the whole situation, i think im fine “because its just part of life” now im afraid that im shutting out my own emotions bc thats how my parents think i should be. i just don’t know what to do. i know my bf is right and that im not a liar and everything i experience is real but i’ve gotten so good at living with it and its not as often that its debilitating that i don’t think i deserve medication. i don’t even know if its actually ocd because im not diagnosed but i talk to my brother and one of my friends (who are diagnosed) and we go through the same things. idk what to do or how to feel. i know my bf is worried about me but i don’t want to be dramatic or let my anxiety control my life

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