Abhi99
- Date posted
- 5y
Abhi99Abhi99
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks to all of u....my days are going really bad...sharing feelings to u all and getting such supportive response makes really feel better...to know that I am not fighting with this alone makes u more comfortable and inspired...I hope one day all of us will be free form this devil
saraocdsaraocd
- Date posted
- 5y
I feel that completely you just have to remind yourself that no one can change the past and ultimately you decide how you feel about yourself. When I struggle with the bad thoughts about myself and feel the guilt and shame I like to imagine if a friend or a loved one came to me with the same concerns and what I would tell them. It often times shows me that while I feel extreme guilt and shame it’s never as bad as I think it is. It helps to remove yourself and just focus on the thought for what it is a thought
EmmaaaahhEmmaaaahh
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey there, I have made some of the most soul crushing mistakes in my past that bring me constant reminders of guilt, anger, emptiness, and many other things that I can't even describe. I know it's incredibly difficult to live this way, and I'm so sorry you are going through it. One thing my psychologist told me that helped a little is that he told me to try my very hardest not to look at the moral idea of being good as a black and white situation. If you view others as all bad or all good, then you're more likely to just feel shitty about yourself. All people have a mix of both bad and good in them, but as humans we have the ability to reflect on things that we wished we had done differently to inform us what to do/not to do in the future. Unfortunately that mechanism comes to bite us in the behind sometimes. We are all both good and bad. It is what we choose to act on that we ultimately become, and that in itself will be forever changing. I'm not sure if this is an OCD thing or something else as I have multiple diagnoses. It's not easy to see good and bad on a spectrum, but trying really hard to do so has been making me be a bit easier on myself, which can do wonders for your mental illness. Self compassion is really key here. I hope this helps and that you are feeling better soon. Stay strong and best of luck!
Abhi99Abhi99
- Date posted
- 5y
But this pasts are real and that's what making me so mad and makes me so angry about my self it feels like I don't deserve any good thing in life...if I had that I would never make that mistakes
saraocdsaraocd
- Date posted
- 5y
Mine are real too but I feel like you are a kind and forgiving person who can forgive others so you have to forgive yourself
Abhi99Abhi99
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank u for your kind reply It really makes me feel a lot better
Related posts
Derickk
- Date posted
- 24w
Past mistakes and regrets.
TW: Abuse/Pocd Im feeling really hopeless right now. I have an extensive history of sexual abuse, neglect, physical and emotional abuse as well and a significant amount of trauma from my childhood. I didn’t get any help until my late teens. During this time period I was an incredibly troubled child/teenager and I made a ton of really bad decisions that go against all my morals and values now as a grown adult. I feel like I messed up so bad I don’t deserve to recover. I don’t want to discuss all the events because they are quite personal to me but I’m really struggling with past sexual mistakes and feeling like some sort of deviant because of my past. I never hurt anyone and I never to my knowledge did anything illegal but I definitely had sexual behavior issues from my abuse. I sexualized my own abuse to cope with it. I feel horrible about this. Like I’m a monster. It also convinces me my thoughts are true and it’s evidence. Should I go to a OCD specialist for this or a sex therapist? Is there anything they can even do.
bkelp213
- Date posted
- 22w
Can’t function for all my guilt
I’ve done things in the past few years that I’m not proud of - only a couple of things I can think of and they didn’t directly hurt anyone at least with is relieving (but maybe indirectly they sort of did or could’ve which makes me hate myself because why did I do that… *how* could I do that…) If I could back and stop those things from happening, I would. I may not have thought about what I was doing at the time, so I didn’t really recognize that they weren’t okay, but that doesn’t excuse them, and I would smack some sense into my past self if I were able. I feel like if anyone knew what I‘ve done, they wouldn’t want anything to do with me. They’d write me off as worthless. And maybe they should to be honest. Now yet another thing has come up - I haven’t done anything, but I had an intrusive thought pop up that made me *think* about doing something and this would be unforgivable in my opinion. Though, to be honest, the things I’ve done before are also somewhat unforgivable in my opinion… 😞 Regardless, I don’t want to do it because I don’t think it’s okay, but I worry deep down that I do. Or that I’m looking for an excuse to make it okay to do. I don’t know, it’s complicated. And I’m upset I even thought about it. I wish I had never seen the thing that triggered that intrusive thought. Yet another thing I would stop if I could. I’ve tried to not think about it or focus on it, but it doesn’t work. Even if it goes away, it just comes back again. I just keep thinking about it and it’s overwhelming. Anyway all of the guilt of this is killing me. I feel like an irredeemably terrible person and it makes me want to give up. I can’t get on with life because it’s paralyzing. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and at this point, it feels like I don’t deserve to just move on. I can’t live with myself and I feel like I don’t deserve anything anymore. I know a lot of this is probably OCD, but I’m not sure all of it is and I don’t know what to do… if I spoke to a therapist about it, I don’t think I could bring myself to say what I’ve done or what thoughts I’ve had. But if I was told to move on by someone who didn’t know the truth, I would worry they wouldn’t really say that if they knew. Agh, it’s all just a mess 😞
rainbows
- Date posted
- 8w
Do you feel like you can’t live a normal life?
Due to real event ocd and past mistakes? I’ve been actively trying to work on this and try to accept and not pay too much attention to it but the confession thing has been bugging me but I’m also trying to accept that I don’t need to confess every single mistake I’ve made and we’ve all made mistakes Recently I’ve been wanting to work on myself and be more positive but because of my real events in childhood, I feel like I can’t live a normal life or deserve a normal life.
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