Hi guys! I have a question because this is something I’ve been struggling with recently. Does anyone else have a fear of feeling regret in the future? Whether that be over mistakes or things you never ended up doing in life? I’m only 19 and I feel like this fear shouldn’t really be showing up in my life right now.
100%! Had it starting high school and right now i’m 20!
@murray05train How did you deal with it if you don’t mind me asking? :)
@emilycore I just started realizing that this was my OCD. Like I learned it pretty recently. I would say that my actions between helping myself and helping my anxiety blur the lines a lot. If I do an action, what emotion am I going through? Am I relieved? Am I happy? I’m not sure if that’s the right approach but that’s how i’m trying to do it. I know right now that that was my entire mindset in high school: don’t let opportunities pass. I joined likw 10 clubs, I did everything you could possibly think of. I just didn’t know why I wasn’t happy. I understood that if I wasn’t happy, at least I squeezed everything out. I know that the “living my life to the fullest” mindset kept me in really really traumatic relationships with other people.
@emilycore Right now i’m struggling with my specific track in my major. I don’t know how to deal with it because it’s just so big. I just don’t really know what to do…
@murray05train I’ve never heard this insight before thank you!
@murray05train It sounds so tough :( I hope you find the peace that you’re looking for
@emilycore Thank you, you too
Yes, for sure! I’m 19 as well, and since high school I’ve worried that I’m not “living my life to the fullest”. I think that society puts so much pressure on productivity, social life, etc. that it can cause you guilt to just sit on the couch and watch your favorite show. It especially sucks with OCD, because sometimes the disorder can make you go somewhere else in your head or not take certain opportunities due to the distress it causes. Or, it makes you relive your mistakes over and over, even though everyone makes them and that’s how we learn. It’s important to remember that there’s no one right way to live life and all that matters is that you’re trying, and putting yourself out there (no matter the discomfort) from time to time. But hey, today I’m just gonna lounge around in my PJ’s, do boring house duties and watch some T.V. It’s all due in time. I’m sending good thoughts your way, and remember you’re not alone 🫶
@artichokeheart Thank you so much for your kind words and I absolutely do agree. Society puts so much pressure on us to ‘find ourselves’ and what we want…but what if I don’t know what I want?! 🤣
@emilycore Ditto to that 😅 some people fr don’t know what they want until wayyy later in life, I guess you just gotta trust the process and what the universe has in store for you!
@artichokeheart Thank you so much!
I'm also 19, and had pretty bad FOMO as a teenager that led to me doing a bunch of stupid things because the idea of thinking 'what if?' for years and years, to me, was worse than whatever consequences just doing the thing had. For example, I was originally going to take a gap year after high school and had a bunch of travel plans lined up, but was so concerned about missing out on the 'college experience' that I ended up cancelling my plans, applying to a college nearby that I hated, made no friends, OCD got unbearable and I dropped out. A year later I'm a mess and wish I had just gone with my original plan. Another example, when I was 16 a lot of people gave me a hard time for being single and having 'no experience', so I ended up desperately trying to get a girlfriend not because I actually wanted one but because I was worried that if I didn't have that experience now people would think I was 'untouchable' and I would never get the chance later on. Of course, I never found a girlfriend and just seemed creepy and desperate. Idk if these relate to your experiences.
@Joshua753 Thank you for sharing your experiences! When you mentioned those ‘what ifs’ it resonated so deeply. I feel the same way about doing things out of FOMO instead of having the deep desire to and reading your story has helped me :)
Hello everyone, this is my first post on here. I hope you are all well. I’m currently experiencing what I call ‘anticipated regret’ and the only way I can describe it is having thoughts such as: “If you don’t do X thing then you will regret it later in life and not feel fully fulfilled.” It’s giving me quite a bit of anxiety as I just want a peaceful life without worrying about experiences I haven’t had. I hope this makes sense!
With real event OCD, I don’t know if any of you feel this way, but do you ever feel that the past event(s) that you ruminate about or constantly obsess about are gonna come up in your future and just absolutely ruin you, that’s how I’ve been feeling for months, it just feels like impending doom, and I hate having to even think that my future would be ruined by what I did as a teenager, and I did some dumb things, that I regret so deeply, I just can’t stop thinking about that.
does anyone else’s ocd take form about life’s big questions? i’ve noticed that doing a lot of work on my theme has greatly improved my quality of life and my overall mental health but as i move through the early years of my twenties and transition in adulthood and out of college-ive noticed a new theme. one that feel existential but hard to verbalize. it feels related to my old them of rocd but one that feels much more personal. i understand that this is a difficult transition for anyone, not just those with anxiety or ocd. however i think it’s helpful for me to just get it off of my chest and see if anyone can relate? i often dwell on the ideas like: -do i know myself? i don’t think i do all the ways so does that mean i shouldnt or can’t be in this relationship? it means that im not being true. -i wasted all my time in college on a relationship and its aftermaths that affected me for years to come. it prevented me from finding my friends. i used to be so happy and now i feel limited sometimes in friendships but its my own fault. because i keep everyone except my partner at an arms length. and if i cant let anyone else in except my partner, that’s bad and i should let them in or be in this relationship. -i struggle making friends and i think everyone is mad at me. -im missing out on life and its passing me by. everyone is out there improving and im working at a minimum wage job and becoming a starving artist. i dont know what i want and thats bad so i need to isolate myself. it’s clear that the stress of this transition has done a number on me thus past month. especially since i just moved and im 2 months post grad. but my ocd and anxiety is kicking in because this change, any advice?
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