Newbie

Hi everyone. I just found out this morning that I’ve had OCD all my life. Have been crying all morning because I don’t know what to do. It started when I was a kid worrying that something really bad was going to happen to my mom. I would cry everytime I thought about it and never told anyone. Then, I watched a few scary movies throughout my life (not by choice) that scared me into thinking something bad was going to happen to me. Over the years into my adulthood I began to obsessively fear something bad happening to myself and my husband from driving. I avoided driving for years and would be worried each time he’d go out by himself without me. I thought all this was just anxiety and me caring so much. But then recently, those scary movies I mentioned started coming back in my mind. Scenarios of those bad things happening to my husband. It’s terrifying and the thing that I fear the most. I don’t ever ever ever want those things to happen. Some of those movies involved the husband becoming possessed and killing the wife. And a recent movie, a historical fiction: Killers of the flower moon. I am the type of person that hates anything involving hurting anything. Even if a bug gets crushed by accident, it makes me so sad. The news right now hurts me so bad, seeing people suffering. I would never hurt a fly. I am a Christian and I have faith in God to the max. I don’t understand why this is happening to me. But I just need some support. And to have let it off my chest.

Wolfram

Date posted: 5w

Thanks for sharing your story? Will you be receiving any therapy for ocd? This is a great YouTube channel if you need any information https://youtube.com/@ocdandanxiety?si=RCSiS9I_oQ9Icd0H Ocd is basically a disorder that is born out of strong values, almost extreme values. It does get better if you put the right type of hard work in. It's kind of difficult to navigate if you dont know what life is without it as you'll be unsure what an ocd-free mind looks or feels like, but it is still possible. Good luck

Riverh

Date posted: 5w

Good morning. First know you are safe. I experience thoughts that get " sticky" too and then create anxiety for me. Id research for reasurance and experience relief but only temporarily. Ecveryine has thoughts that are odd! We see them as odd and then say " wow! Thats weird" and move on. For some like me- sometimes they stay and snowball. For example, you're on tall building balcony, and think "what if I threw myself off this balcony". Just a thought. But what's really going on as our mind gets anxious and causes us to take action like move away from the edge of the balcony. It's just our primitive brain keeping us safe. For some of us though we start thinking, why did I have that thought? What's it mean? And we become one with it as if it's true. Unwittingly, reinforcing it. We're anxious about it. And every time we start poking at it and thinking about it and wrestling with it, it signals to our mind this is dangerous thinking. Creating even more anxiety. Vicious cycle. In the end, it's just a thought. Separate from us. I found a book titled pure o ocd by chad lejune to be very helpful. Maybe a call to the therapist here. You're gonna be OK

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