R-OCD

Im anxious today. It gets worse and then better, I’ve sat with it but I just need to hear someone else’s experience with this or anything. I’ve always been afraid my long-term boyfriend was going to leave me. From early on I thought he’d loose attraction or something. We got engaged two weeks ago. The last few days I’ve been so worried about his attraction to me (he takes shots for his health and has been taking them and I think they mess with his “drive”) and today I’ve really started spiraling. I’m afraid he’s gonna not be attracted to me and leave or God is going to take him out of my life and it’s really causing me distress. I haven’t had such a prominent theme in such a long time. I’ve got other life stressers and im starting to identify that maybe it is my OCD and not just a fear. I can’t think about anything else, I’ve tried running, drawing, mediation, and distraction. Anyone have any tips or similar experiences???

Anonymous

Date posted: 16h

Sometimes the days are hard. But I know you can get through this. The reality is, another or not you worry about it is unlikely to influence the outcome. Sure, it's possible your boyfriend has lost feelings. But that will come when it comes. Worrying about that, won't help you. And say he does leave? What then? my guess is that you will eventually find someone else who fits what you are looking for. And if it is the end of the world? Oh well, I guess. Your worrying isn't going to stop that, it's only inhibiting you from the life you want to be living. I say none of this to shame you. Only to say that no amount of anylsis is going to being you comfort or certainty in the long run. What sucks about OCD is that logic doesn't always work. You can know your boyfriend isn't going to leave, get all the reassurance, and still worry. I don't have any magic cure to make it go away. But one thing that I like to do is think about how ridiculous it all is and laugh at it. "I think my long term boyfriend is going to leave me because he has a lower drive? Lol. to think that medications would affect the way feels about me." And try to move on from that. If a friend approaches you with this same problem, would you think their partner was leaving? Probably not. I know this is uncomfortable but I believe in you. I believe in your ability to find peace in this discomfort and eventually, you will feel secure in knowing that 1 the likelyhood of him leaving, especially over what may be a really small thing, is low. And that 2, if he does leave, you're going to be ok because you can handle it. You are just as beautiful and wonderful with or without him. If he doesn't see that, it's his loss. I know OCD is hard to live with. From that alone I know you are strong. You can handle this uncertainty. You are doing the hard work. It's all you can do. One day you look back and smile (or laugh). Keep going and riding the wave. You got this! I have a pretty unique experience with OCD that may not relate to most people so this might not be helpful, but I hope it is.

cmax20

Date posted: 21w

ROCD

for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.

naiad

Date posted: 20w

Relationship OCD

Hi all, I’m F(20) and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend M(20) for 10 months now. Lately it feels like I’ve been getting triggered at the tiniest thing. My relationship OCD is centered around the idea that my bf will leave me, that suddenly his feelings will change and he’ll never look back. Inherently I know this is irrational and I know he loves me very much (as he tells me repeatedly when I compulsively ask for reassurance). I just can’t make my brain stop. I just feel so unsecured. He will mention that one of his friends drove an hour to see him for only 30 minutes. I will then spiral that I am not possibly doing enough and it’s because he’s secretly done with me and he’s longing for a reason to leave and go be with this friend instead. See? Truly irrational. But I cannot stop it. Any tips at all? Maybe I’m at least not alone in this. I often feel literally insane:(

galina

Date posted: 13w

ROCD

My ROCD comes in waves but I recently began hormonal birth control to help level out a genetic disorder I am dealing with. The harm OCD and relationship OCD has gotten so much worse the last few weeks since starting. My brain is constantly going between. Am I going to hurt someone? Am I depressed? To every other what if known to man. But the ROCD is what has been pissing me off. My relationship is a complete 180 from what I’ve ever experienced. I have only ever been with abusers. My ex husband was a narcissistic person and ruined me (likely why I have this ROCD in the first place) but anyway- my relationship is great. We’re best friends. We share the same values morals and wishes. We enjoy the same things. He can do his own thing and I can do mine. But when my ROCD hits, I disassociate and panic and go through what ifs about the relationship. We have also both been going through some stuff the past few months which has decreased the way we have sex but a ton (went from 2x a day to a couple times a week to now maybe 1x a week- and I fear it’s repeating the same pattern as with my ex…different situation- he was abusive and my current partner isn’t) but with these ROCD bouts I start wondering- is he too short? Do I find him attractive? Do I want to be with him? Should I leave? And now have convinced myself that since we’re in a normal healthy relationship (which can feel boring) that there must be something wrong and that I need to figure out what to do. I’m convinced that less sex and connection (exploring one another as we did when we started dating) means the relationship is doomed. I have never been in a healthy relationship and I know it takes work and showing up everyday. True love isn’t for the weak because it makes you have to work to keep it alive- especially when it’s “boring”. Idk what to do though. These thoughts and spirals are driving me mad. And no matter the situation, the spiral continues. I’m always anxious and thinking “what if” Any tips? I know one person in here said DO NOT leave my partner because it’ll only provide temporary relief and never solve the deeper issues I’m going through. I hate this feeling. I just want to enjoy my life.

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