confused

So, it sounds like OCD is riding in on reasonable thoughts and then exaggerating them up and causing confusion. When you have friends of the opposite gender, they are going to randomly do things that you may find attractive. Doesn’t mean you want to date them or even like them more than a friend. They may look good in an outfit, do something you wish someone you do like would do for you, or shows off a talent. It’s not all baseline all the time. You can have moments where you feel more or less attraction for them. OCD is waiting for a small spike and then tells you it is a giant spike, but really, it is just a small one being blown up. The fact that you are not interested in this guy and he isn’t in you is good practice. Instead of fighting it when OCD says “you should date him,” you go “dang, my friend is a catch for some other girl out there. Good for him.” Acknowledge your friend may have qualities that are attractive, but not for you. “He’s going to find the right girl someday.” OCD gets strong when we are unwilling to admit that multiple things can be true at the same time. He may be a good person to date, but you’re not interested.

Same thing happening to me. I’m becoming close with a guy friend but not in a brotherly way and I can’t stop getting thoughts about him even though I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years.

Hey, I just wanted to say , what you’re describing actually makes a lot of sense. It sounds like your brain might be dealing with intrusive thoughts, which are super common for people with anxiety or OCD. Sometimes our brain confuses fear or discomfort with “interest,” so it starts saying things like “you like him” or “he likes you,” even when you don’t feel that way. It’s not that you actually want it , it’s just your brain trying to control uncertainty or scan for danger. Try to remember: intrusive thoughts don’t mean truth. They’re just thoughts, not facts. You don’t need to fight them or prove them wrong , just notice them, breathe, and let them pass like clouds. ☁️ Also, it’s totally okay that you feel scared around guys. Your body is probably trying to protect you, even if it feels confusing. You don’t need to rush yourself into talking to anyone , take your time and do what feels safe. You’re not weird or broken , your brain just learned to be on alert, and that’s okay. With time and gentleness, it can calm down again.

I am just now realizing in my 30s that I was afraid of “contaminating” the safe space of middle & high school if I dated anyone there. Was terrified it would ruin my sense of safety. Only dated dudes who went to other schools. Now looking back, I get caught in loops of “what if” …ugh ocd man… it’s no fun. Try not to “should” on yourself 💩 it just creates shame spirals

omg hey queen