ROCD

@ROCDmensch @ROCDmensch So just notice it instead of freaking out that it definitely means I like this other person?? And I guess I should have that mentality of feelings come and go for all of the things i stress over. It can occur and then it can leave my mind just as fast if I didn’t like it!

@Mk3 You've almost got it right :) yes, you want to notice and don't attach meaning, so no rumination whether it means something or whether it's true or not. You wanna say "Maybe it means something, maybe not". Of course this will not give you instant relief. You have to sit with the uncomfortable feeling of not knowing and don't change something about how you feel (as that would be a compulsion). But yes, emotions come and go. Anxiety does as well as feelings of attraction :)

@ROCDmensch Okay yes. So even though it seems to me that it definitely means that I like this other person, I should instead not attach that meaning to it? And like for other stuff- like say feeling attracted to someone else in a moment more than my partner…. I notice it, and then I can move on without attaching meaning to it. Because feelings come and go like waves and don’t have to mean anything.

@Mk3 Yes exactly. You want to label it "hey, this is my OCD speaking. It wants me to figure this out" and then set a mental stop sign "Rumination is a compulsion. I am not OCD and I don't have to figure this out right now. Maybe it means that I like that person, maybe not". And it's good if you know your compulsions. For me and many other people with rocd it's mental checking (your feelings, your attraction towards you partner in certain situations, for others) but also reassurance seeking with friends or the internet, as well es avoidant compulsions like not kissing your partner or avoiding people that trigger you (attractive people). You don't want to do any of these compulsions. I know this is hard and you won't be capable to do so at first and that's okay. Take it one step at a time. Expose yourself to things that trigger you and withstand doing the compulsion :) that's one big part of recovery. Other parts are working on your black and white thinking, as well as on radical self acceptance.

@ROCDmensch Great okay thanks so much. Yeah for what this post is about it was like I was so certain that what I was feeling meant I liked this other person. But I shouldn’t attach that meaning. And for other things like you are saying I can just choose not to figure it out aka I don’t need to give it meaning! Because it’s just a feeling I don’t need to ruminate over it

@Mk3 Yes, you got this :) you don't need to convince OCD about anything, no need to argue with it

@ROCDmensch Yeah even if I’m fully convinced the feeling = liking there’s no point in arguing anyways. I hope I’m thinking right now! Thanks:) Going forward I’m not going to let feeling drive me into such a spiral, they don’t have to mean anything. So what I was attracted more to someone in a moment. It doesn’t have to mean I’m a terrible partner or that I like someone else.

@Mk3 It could or it couldn't yes :)

@ROCDmensch Haha I hate uncertainty bc I always feel like I could just ask my partner if it’s terrible of me. Lol

@Mk3 Yes that's the compulsion that keeps you inside the OCD cycle. You want to break through the cycle. And that involves discomfort unfortunately but it's doable :)

@ROCDmensch @ROCDmensch Yes and I’m sure ruminating and spiraling over various fleeting feelings is keeping me stuck too. Ugh. Vs just moving on and not attaching meaning. It scares me bc I feel like my partner might think I’m terrible for some of these things And even when the feeling seemed exactly like what you would feel to like someone I should just not attach that meaning to it? Even tho I already did hahah that’s the confusing part. It’s like if I felt like I like him I like him yanno? Gosh this is terrible