POCD / FALSE MEMORY

First I must say I love children and harming one sickens me. So if you don’t understand pocd please don’t commment. Ive only ever been drunk around children once at a house party , my ocd then convinced me I could’ve assaulted them the next morning as my memory was patchy…I haven’t let this go for YEARS. I didn’t even know what I did? 6 years later I have this whole story, based off an intrusive image I had but still don’t really know what I did? Every waking day of my life I’m trying to figure this out but I’m getting more and more confused. I’ve found clues, coincidences , things I believe could be evidence but isn’t really? I’m mixing in reality and false images….My therapists (I’ve had 3) all say this is false memory ocd? But mine feels different? Mine feels worse? Anyway I need a break.

Hi all, I have false memory ocd, harm ocd and pure ocd, I also suffer really badly from intrusive thoughts every single day. I was minding my nephew last weekend and I got an intrusive thought that I’m ashamed off, I’m now worried that I acted on that intrusive thought and just can’t remember, there’s also a false memory image in my head of me acting on the thought which I’m scared is actually a memory even though deep down I know I didn’t act on it. I’m worried though that the fact I even had this thought in the first place means I’m inherently a bad person who would act on these thoughts. My stomach is sick with the worry I may have acted on it and can’t Remember, anyone else ever have something like this? I start meds and therapy next week so hoping that helps

So I am experiencing my first OCD theme, man what a fun ride! It’s been 3 months and I finally decided as of yesterday it’s either stay here and get worse or start choosing to figure out what I need to do. I won’t go too much into my scenario and I’m not asking for reassurance. I just want to to how false memories work and if they commonly present like this. So I am married. We were out somewhere and I saw someone I knew. I have never been romantically involved with this person and I was just like oh hey that’s such and such in my brain. Well about 10 minutes goes by and I get a flash of a memory of an online interaction I had with them (this is real) and well it caught me off guard and I was like when was that? It was so long ago I couldn’t recall and I was like well I think that was before my relationship and then I thought well what if it was after since you can’t remember and BOOM I got a flash of a memory (more like a picture) of my brain correlating me doing this while in my relationship. And then the more I thought of trying to disprove that I had another memory (which I believe to be the true memory) of it occurring before my relationship. Here’s the thing. About a year or two ago I saw this same person. The same thing happened. I was shocked and panicked and just was like I don’t know I have never even thought of this in my relationship and just kind of shut it down saying maybe I just will never bring it up to my husband. But I completely forgot about that. Outside of these two times I have NEVER thought of this in my relationship. Like at all. Never thought of this person once. Here’s what I’m wondering, do false memories (even about real events) often occur after what if statements? Even though what I did most people wouldn’t care about, it would have been very out of character for me and also for me to just entirely forget about it. So I am pretty sure I am dealing with a false reconstruction of a past real event. Has anyone ever dealt with anything similar? Is there more to identifying these false memories? And how did you deal with them? I have accepted I can never disprove a memory. Even if someone told me it wasn’t real. I just feel like if you did something that was a little out of your character you would definitely remember it not just did I? I just wanted to give my example, but I am interested in how people deal with this.