People Pleasing ‼️

Today, I was asked to hang out by my friends. I’d usually say yes even if I did not have the energy. But today, I said no after a busy weekend! I usually people please because I have a little voice in my head that says “if I don’t continuously hang out, they will stop being friends with me.” It’s one of my biggest OCD themes since I was a kid. I am friends with a lot of people who gain their energy from being around others. I am not one of them and have limited “spoons” that I am trying to protect for once! I am very proud of myself. My brain wandered for a bit but then I have come out of it feeling my growth! Yay!! 🎉

Anonymous He...

Date posted: Yesterday

This is such beautiful progress. Saying no when you’re tired takes real strength, especially when OCD tries to tell you that you have to keep people happy to be “safe.” Today you honored your energy, your limits, and your needs , that’s huge. The fear that friends will leave if you don’t constantly say yes is an old OCD story, not reality. The fact that you protected your “spoons” shows growth, self-trust, and a healthier relationship with yourself. And even though your brain wandered, you still came out grounded and proud. That’s exactly what progress looks like. Yay is right! I’m so happy for you. 🎉

buggyladyxo

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous Healing is possible.. I had no idea it was OCD until this year! Ive been doing it since I was a kid and thought if I do all these things for everyone else no one would leave me even if time and time again, they have. So, im tired of doing that even if my friends are better people than the ones in the past. Im also autistic, so I literally NEED to save my energy to the best of my abilities. Thank you so much for your kind comment

Anonymous He...

Date posted: 23h

@buggyladyxo You are welcome ❤️

al01

Date posted: Yesterday

I never realized people pleasing stemmed from my OCD & this scenario is me to a T!!! I will do this until I’m completely burnt out. 🤯 Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so proud of you for taking time for yourself to recoup your energy!

j vv

Date posted: Yesterday

buggyladyxo 👋 congratulations!! I am working on this as well this year. Keep it up! It’s part of my ROCD — “if I don’t say yes, I’ll miss out on future opportunities/my friends will leave if I stop doing nice things for them/i can’t be loved if I am not giving someone something” are all things that OCD wants me to believe. Sounds like you have battled with something similar, nice to know we’re not alone out here!

buggyladyxo

Date posted: Yesterday

@j vv This also stems from my ROCD too! I’m currently in an obsessive cycle about my friends and loved ones. I am seeing changes from putting myself first, ones that are scary as well, but it feels more worth it to me that I am taking care of myself. People also assume im an extrovert even though I am not so I get asked to hang out multiple times a week. It’s way too much for me and we are allowed to finally make our boundaries!!

j vv

Date posted: 23h

@buggyladyxo Ugh I agree, the changes from making boundaries can definitely be scary! Even getting the slightest pushback when trying to assert a boundary can feel so scary and demoralizing for me still.😱 There’s definitely an adjustment period for myself and those around me. It has taken a lot of heart-to-heart conversations and some of my worst fears have come true: I did lose some relationships and even economic opportunities over this. Even with that pain, the joy I feel by not over-extending all the time is worth it. Thank you for sharing in this post!! It was brave and helped me consider my own journey and progress with kindness. 💜

buggyladyxo

Date posted: 23h

@j vv I’m up right now trying to sit with the anxiety of the possibility of losing the people I care about. I’m seeing my two close friends becoming even more close without me and it’s hard and one of my fears. But also, I’m happy for them too. They needed each other and I cannot give what they can give each other. I just may have to take a back seat for now. Its painful because one of them I have known since we were teens. But we have always been super different, almost opposites. I still love them but yes, I need me!!

buggyladyxo

Date posted: 23h

@j vv And I’m so proud of you as well!! We can do this!!! We are brave 🩷

buggyladyxo

Date posted: Yesterday

😭😭 Thank you all! 🩷🩷

trying333

Date posted: 22w

Getting “stuck” at home

I’m new to this and trying to understand why I often feel stressed and overwhelmed by leaving the house to run an errand or see a friend. My boyfriend is an extrovert and I feel overwhelmed when I think of spending time with him because I know he wants to be out and about keeping busy. We live in NYC and lately the city is just too much for me - the noise, crowds, smells. I bailed on him today in a way I’m not proud of. He deserves to have a girlfriend that can and wants to keep up with him. I want to be that person, I want to WANT to do things. It’s so hard to know what is depression, what is personal preference, what is OCD, what is circumstantial, etc. I want to show up for my loved ones, I want to keep commitments, I want to get my errands done.

kalopsiia

Date posted: 7w

Something Positive

I’ve only posted here once and deleted the app for a while, and I still struggle daily with my OCD. In the past two years or so though, I have improved a significant amount despite oftentimes still finding it hard to feel the significance. One thing I have realized, is that unplugging from social media completely other than apps I can easier curate like substack and Youtube has helped tremendously, along with journaling. Keeping my screen time low and avoiding things like ChatGPT (which I had a big problem with for a while, that thing is a reassurance vacuum) has allowed me to better fight against my compulsions and/or Pure O. The one thing I’m lacking is a support system, but I am finally more comfortable with leaving my house and I’m taking steps to get myself back out into the world in hopes that I can get a job with adequate enough insurance to get proper treatment and maybe make some friends. I just wanted to vent I guess in a positive way, because I’m more prone to pessimism by nature. Don’t give up on yourselves, a small win is still a win. Reminding myself of that too.

britkai

Date posted: 5w

needing a friend rn 😕

Can I be honest? Im kind of panicking rn. Im exhausted and scared of everything constantly. I haven’t left my house in the past 3 ish months because my ocd perceives everything as a threat. Especially everything outside of my place. Tomorrow is a big day. I’m gonna go out for the first time with an old friend. But I’m so scared. My ocd is already thinking of all the “what ifs” and my heart is racing. But I’m going to push through it because my ocd has taken experiences, time, and happiness from me. I’m just tired of it and I really gotta draw the line somewhere. And i feel like this is where. I really can’t let it take me away from people I care about and care about me. But it’s terrifying even though I know it’s irrational. It doesn’t make it any less scary. Honestly I just need some validation, words of wisdom, or just encouragement. No one in my life really gets what it’s like to have ocd. Idk if you feel called to comment I appreciate you. But if you don’t and you made it this far. Thanks for hearing me out 🫂

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People Pleasing ‼️

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