OCD Triggers Caused by Family

I have been diagnosed with OCD by a therapist on NOCD for about 4 years now. I went through therapy here and I was officially diagnosed. My mom knows about the diagnosis because I’ve pretty much told her all my struggles and unfortunately confessed a lot of what I was dealing with in the past. She was not understanding at first and told me there was no way I could have OCD that I don’t “clean and organize” like people she has worked with before or been around. I told her that I wanted to go through therapy at the time and she said no and really said some mean and hateful things. Eventually though she did start becoming understanding but not in the way you would think. My mom isn’t exactly emotionally supportive. So talking to her about everything was really hard to go through. Well getting into what’s bothering me….in the past I have thought maybe there was a possibility that I could have autism. I’ve seen people on TikTok talk about it and what they have experienced and it was similar to me but I pushed it aside and never talked about it with anyone. I do struggle with “misophonia” and my mom is also aware of that even though she doesn’t believe in it either and that I’m just “misdiagnosing” myself. Well today she randomly says “There’s a video I watched earlier that I think you should see. I think you have autism. I don’t think you have OCD. You were misdiagnosed and it’s your trauma that is making you think you have OCD.” And it really hit me the wrong way and was quite triggering. The things that I have put in my head and all the hate towards myself before I was diagnosed came back because I was starting to second guess myself. I told her you can have OCD and autism at the same time. There’s no way for me to know unless I’m diagnosed and she said you don’t need to be diagnosed you kind of just know or something like that. But it really put it in my head that I’m making the OCD symptoms up and what if I really was diagnosed and it confirms that I’m a “bad” person. Sometimes I wish I never told my mom anything. She has never really shown care or understanding towards how I have been feeling for years. Who knows, maybe I do have autism but I know for a fact I have OCD. I just hate she put it in my head that theres a possibility I’m an imposter and I’m really what my mind tells me I am. If anyone relates to this please reach out. I’m not really asking for reassurance I just don’t know if I should listen to my mom. Yes I’m an adult. I’m 26 and still live at home. Now that she thinks I have autism, is she going to use it against me too? This sucks so much 💔

i live in a multi generational style home with my partner's parents, my partner, his sister, her husband and their 2 year old. we have separate bathrooms and when I moved in, the house was filthy. not just contamination filthy, more like no one has picked up a cleaning tool in years. I had to deep clean caked pee and dust from behind our toilet and walls. there was expired shampoo bottles from 2014 with mold on them. The bathtub was black with grime. like someone cleaned off motor oils off themselves. but really it was just soap scum mixed with years of dirt and human grime. I spent days cleaning the bath tub with multiple scrubs, using power tool brush heads and even a high pressure steamer. i finally got it to the point to where i felt clean to be in there. i did not clean their bathroom because doing mine was hard enough and I never planned to use theirs. they came home from their month long vacation and decided they no longer liked the state of their own bathroom and decided to use mine. They said their tub had black grime and did not want to bathe their baby in it. that grime was there in all of the tubs when they left and it didn't seem to bother them before? i know babies pee in the tub, its a natural reaction that I don't fault. i have a strict no pee in the shower rule. i can immediately tell when people are shower pee people when i use someone else's shower because the smell permeates from the bottom of the shower curtain and the shower drain. Now i am laying awake unable to sleep thinking about how i will need to scrub the tub in the morning and put the shower curtain in the wash (cuz it touched the pee water) before i can shower and start my day. they also left a huge mess of water on the floor with redish mud? i dont know but i had to clean that up before it settled. i want to set a boundary that they clean and use their own tub from now on, but I am worried I will be perceived as precious, rude, insensitive or unaccommodating they also dont know about my OCD and I am sure they already think of me as a bit off, it doesnt feel safe to disclose it to them. i cant lay awake every night upset and i cant start everyday with a deep clean. my shower and my bed are my non negotiables with OCD habits. they also put a bunch of amazon packages on my bed when i wasnt home that didnt even belong to me and i cant stop thinking about all the dirty things those boxes touched before touching my newly cleaned sheets. so i also have to deep clean that in the morning. currently i am in the one corner of the bed nothing touched and i have sanitized the rest but not enough to sleep well. help!! this cant just be an ocd problem, but an inconsiderate family member i have to learn to live with. any tips? ALSO my husband is gone on a work trip, leaving me to have to figure this out on my own if I want to survive the week without him. its extra hard because i feel like i have less of a say since this is not my family home.

Hey everyone, I woke up this morning with my heart pounding again — my anxiety immediately latched onto the same thing that’s been triggering me lately: ….. quite literally trash…. In the past, my OCD would fixate on things like moving, leaving items or people behind, or traveling. It’s something to do with leaving or forgetting an item or person and never being able to get it back that triggers me. Those fears would eventually pass when the situation changed, I’d move, or come home, or reconnect/got closure. But now it feels like my brain is trying to find something new to obsess over just to keep the cycle going. It’s like my mind won’t let me have peace. The thought of constantly finding a new thing to fear — and never being free from this — feels unbearable. I’m scared that I’ll be stuck in this heightened panic forever. I want to believe that it gets better, but right now it just feels endless. Has anyone else ever felt like their brain keeps jumping from one obsession or trigger to another, even when you try so hard to move on? How do you remind yourself that the feeling will eventually pass?