OCD

Hi guys. I’m 21, bf 22. We’ve been together for 5 years. We have always planned to have children. I’ve always wanted to be a mother. The last 5 years we have planned our future, that future including children. Back in September I ended up finding out I was pregnant. I was super scared, scared of losing my freedom and my relationships changing (which many people told me is completely normal), and before I got the chance to get excited, we lost the baby in October. Now my brain is saying “you don’t want kids”, and it’s making me panic. I talked to my bf about it and he said “if you don’t want kids, than unfortunately it’s a deal breaker” and that made me panic even more. I have ALWAYS wanted children. We have planned to have kids for years. I’ve been struggling with this for weeks and I’m so so scared.

Madicurls

Date posted: 16h

Ugh that wasn’t a nice thing for him to say. I completely understand where you’re coming from. That little whisper in the back of your head lol Stay true to you! You know your self best. Sometimes I name that little whisper. Her name is Gwen lolll I’m so sorry about your miscarriage, thinking of you❤️

Rgreen061820

Date posted: 16h

@Madicurls He doesn’t entirely know I struggle with OCD (I know, it’s crazy. I need to tell him) but I’m just scared of sounding crazy lol. He’s amazing, and I know he wouldn’t leave once he knew I had it. It’s just my brain. How do you go about naming the thought, and approach them? I’d love to try lol

kroo

Date posted: 15h

@Rgreen061820 You do not sound crazy! Ask for grace and patience. If he does not give you some, commit to a plan like therapy. Remember that OCD preys on our values, and tears them apart. I have to keep telling myself that distress is only just proof that we care about our values.

Sonnyy

Date posted: 15h

@Rgreen061820 Being open with people is a scary thing so don’t worry. You guys are young, still learning and growing. From a male perspective he might not understand what he said to you was hurtful. It probably made you feel like your entire relationship is based on one thing alone. Having kids. Be open and honest no matter how terrifying it might seem. Those hard conversations are how we grow closer to people. You can do it, just have a little faith in yourself.

samiam3

Date posted: 15h

I’m sorry to hear about your miscarriage :( I would take any of your thoughts right now with a grain of salt. Having a miscarriage last month probably has thrown your hormones for a bit of a loop which I know for me when I was pregnant and postpartum I had a lot of different thoughts than normal so I wouldn’t read into it too much!

Madicurls

Date posted: 16h

Yea I get not telling him, I really struggle with skin picking and I’ve begun todo it to my boyfriend too, It’s sooooo hard not to. And he gets so offended when I do it (like It’s my choice?! I guess it sort of is? But it doesn’t feel like it) anyway he doesn’t get that It’s literally borderline out of my control.. Anyway I named her Gwen cause there’s this girl from college that drove me nuts, she was rude, disrespectful, and self centered. Therefore the girl in my head that says the stupid things that are like “what are you even talking about dude?!” So I literally say sometimes out loud (alone lolll) “Would you shut the fuck up Gwen!!” And it makes me giggle and everytime I think about that topic it makes me giggle that I screamed out loud at her 😂😂😂 Sorry I’m long winded, but helps me sometimes 🥰

caffelattino

Date posted: 20w

OCD or genuine concern?

Hi, I was talking to my boyfriend and he went something along the lines of "I don't want to raise a child here in our country" which is understandable. We're in our twenties and don't expect to adopt for at least other 10 years, but that triggered me so much, my first response was "But what if I want to raise our child here?" because I really don't feel like moving right now and I want to stay close to my family. I told him and he, of course, went like "I mean we'll discuss about it when it's time??" but I feel like I want all the answers NOW. It's not just this, every time I am unsure about something that will happen in our future I get so triggered... is this OCD or a genuine concern? I am so confused and I don't wanna bring it up till I'm sure of its nature.

Espiritu723!

Date posted: 20w

Pregnancy and marriage

So basically, I’ve been with my husband six years already I’m 24 and he’s 25th. We don’t have that much money at the moment but I’m trying to work as hard as I can to save so when I become a mom I can be able to stay at home. But last week our condom broke during my ovulation period and I’m afraid I may be pregnant. My husband say that he loves me but he doesn’t want babies at this moment and he want me to drink something to take “care” of it. I don’t want to but he said we don’t have money and he’s not able to give us the life he wants for us. I’m having suicidal thoughts and my anxiety it’s just driving me crazy. I don’t know what can I do to calm down and stop thinking about it cuz it’s driving me crazy .

Oceanlove325

Date posted: 16w

OCD worse than ever-life changes

I have had OCD my whole life and was diagnosed by a therapist 2 years ago. Specifically I struggle a lot with health, contamination and pure ocd. I was doing exposures and really felt like I conquered by contamination ocd. With the health ocd I have an intense fear I will have a food or medicine allergy and go into anaphylactic shock. This takes up a lot of my energy day to day. Within the past year, we bought a home, renovated and recently got married. My husband wants to start trying for a baby soon but I am not ready at all because of how much I feel like I have gone backwards with my anxiety and ocd. This spiked a lot with the stress of wedding planning. I’m scared pregnancy will spike my health/contamination ocd even more and I won’t be able to handle it. I always wanted babies but now that it’s getting closer and I know how much ocd I truly have I am so nervous I will cause myself and baby more stress than good. Does anyone have positive stories of TTC/pregnancy/PP and motherhood with ocd?

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