Spooked by some thoughts!

hey! i go through the same struggle! i would say to sit with the uncertainty. it’s not your job right now to figure out if they are doing those things or not. don’t ask your friends for reassurance because even though it feels good it could make your fear worse! 🩷

What you’re describing is really common in Relationship OCD (ROCD). ROCD isn’t only about romantic partners. It can attach to friendships, family, or anyone you deeply care about. The fear usually isn’t about the relationship itself but about the possibility of losing relationships or being disappointed. A few things that may help: 1. Name what’s actually happening. The intensity of the paranoia, the spiraling, replaying conversations, and mentally checking every interaction is classic ROCD turning normal insecurity into something that feels like a threat. 2. Notice the urge to get reassurance and understand the OCD cycle. Thoughts like “Do they secretly hate me?” or “Are they talking behind my back?” feel urgent, but they’re part of the OCD cycle. Here’s the cycle in simple form: Obsession: an unwanted fear shows up Compulsion: you analyze, check, or seek reassurance Temporary relief: you feel better for a moment Return of obsession: the fear comes back stronger The more you engage with the thought, the more powerful and believable it becomes. Letting the thought exist without trying to solve it is what weakens the cycle. 3. Try a grounding response: “I don’t have to solve this feeling right now. I can let the thought be here and choose not to engage. I choose instead to focus on enjoying time with my friends, being myself, and allowing my friendships to develop naturally.” 4. Remember what ROCD and anxiety often run on: F.E.A.R. F.E.A.R. stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. These thoughts feel true because they are emotionally intense, but intensity is not evidence. ROCD thoughts create a mental trap by constantly looking for certainty , so it creates “false evidence” into something bad is happening. 5. You are absolutely not alone. Many people with OCD experience this exact fear with friendships. It does not mean something is wrong with you or with the relationship. It means OCD found a place you care deeply about and latched onto it. If you can, a therapist trained in OCD and ERP can help you build skills to tolerate uncertainty without checking, analyzing, or seeking reassurance. You are already doing something brave by recognizing the pattern. That awareness is a big first step