I don’t like coming back to NOCD

I have so many emotions connected to this app and this community. I first struggled with POCD, and it ate me alive. I did intense ERP for 6 months and came out the other side happier because of it. Feeling much better. Still a bit scared, but not nearly as scared as I was. My themes started cycling after that. Obsessing over the things I’ve said. Obsessing over being just an in general needy person and how terrible it was. I got married and came back here with ROCD, with no progress. Now I’m coming back again, and I really hate opening this app. Every single time I come here I feel all of the dread and anxiety of dealing with this stuff again. Whether it’s because I don’t believe I’m going to make any more progress, or if it’s the knowledge of how much hard work it takes to do the actual work. Sometimes it’s trying to be supportive on the community tab and finding a new compulsion or obsession. I hate this so much. It’s so not fun to be back here. I just hope that the work will lead to a better life. Then all of this sucky feeling will be worth something.

Ocdfighter2000

Date posted: 2d

How was ERP? Sorry for asking, I start tomorrow for the first time, and I'm really nervous because I don't know what to expect.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

@Ocdfighter2000 If you have a good therapist, it’s tough work, but handleable. It’s usually kinda scary, but it’s a lot less scary than struggling forever. Think about the experience of crying. You’re crying over a hard experience, but when the crying over you feel kinda fresh. Pretty similar experience.

Ocdfighter2000

Date posted: 2d

Good to know, thank you!!

GlassCup4466102

Date posted: 2d

ocd is relentless and attacks all your personal values. I have themes now I never thought I would ever have. You probably value being a safe, good person, being in a healthy relationship, etc. and ocd will put anything you value into question just to make sure. ocd is like wack-a-mole when one theme dissipates another appears. Unfortunately it can be a long battle. The fact that you keep coming back to challenge it is a testament to your strength and is truly incredible. Keep fighting for your peace you deserve it!

Spencer Z

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

I kinda relate. Treatment in general can be either smooth, sluggish, or both at the same time, there's no linear path. When I did ERP with NOCD for contamination and health OCD for a year I ended up making somewhat straightforward recovery within a year and a half. On the other hand, I've been doing in-person treatment (ERP/CBT/DBT) for POCD for over 2 years (which included a week long inpatient and 6 week PHP in 2024) at this point and that however only took till last month when I felt a significant weight was taken off me. It really just came down to finding the right therapist, making the insights I needed, and developing a readiness to accept the information I got from the therapist. And I mean, I've been in therapy for almost 10 years at this point, 3 years only for specifically OCD-related treatment. Coming back here is nice to see how things are going, but at this point, it's just kinda a habit.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

@Spencer Z This is extremely relatable. I’m sorry you had such a long journey. Glad you’re doing better. Hope to do better again soon myself.

but_what_if_...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

I guess stay out of the social section of the app

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