Struggling with relationship OCD for the past week. Finding other men attractive and liking their attention makes me feel extremely guilty and feels like I’m a terrible girlfriend. I would never cheat on my boyfriend of course I just like attractive people to think I’m also attractive. I have a problem with confessing so I’m trying to keep it to myself and not bother my BF with unnecessary worry. Does anyone have any tips or similar experiences?
It’s okay to find other people attractive. I feel like part of being human is appreciating the beauty around us. As long as you’re not actively physically cheating or emotionally cheating with another person, you are good! Don’t feel guilty about liking their attention either. It feels good to get compliments and to know others find you attractive. I’m sure your boyfriend would agree. With ocd we feel the need to confess, but I don’t think you did anything wrong. Give yourself grace.
@jujubmo Thank you so much <3 reading that helped a lot
Also please know, that you will find a partner who will understand your ocd and you. It is so possible and that love is possible. I know it’s feels so scary just with the thought alone , of will anyone accept me. Because ocd is such a hard disorder to explain to people. But I truthfully believe there are people who are willing to learn and love someone with ocd! And there’s also millions of people around the world with ocd, who would understand our thoughts and relate (of any subtype).
ALSO! There’s a few therapist I follow on TikTok , that talk about these things, so it’s so nice to see those videos. I also do try to limit my social media tho.
I wish I could look back and tell myself all those posts were not signs. AND when people give relationship advice and they use the comments “if you know, you know” and all those. Used to drive me crazy. I would tell myself from the past, that doesn’t apply to you, you have ocd and that’s okay! OCD is literally a doubting disorder, of course I’m not gonna feel certain in my relationship. I try to normalize it a lot. Make it my friend, use it as a super power sometimes, I really try to take control over ocd and let it know it’s my body and mind & it’s just a friend inside me, that tries to tell me a mix of things. I know some people also name their OCD “character” to normalize it for themselves!
I definitely relate to this as well
@sailorvenus I’m actually still struggling with it a month later any tips on how you go about it?
@Lillo2000 I try not to judge myself. We are humans and we have thoughts. Whether true or not. Also my whole life I’ve been a daydreamer. So I would literally day dream about anything & everything. So I try to normalize it in my brain. I’m also married, and I think other people are cute sometimes. I definitely noticed talking about it with my husband made things harder , than easier for myself. The past couple years I’ve dealt with rocd with confessions to my now husband, from when we started dating too. And now I’m realizing, my thoughts are so normal. And I need to just accept them, so I can move on, and enjoy now. I wish I could look back when I was first starting our relationship, and tell myself , these are inside thoughts and they don’t Need to be shared. And the more I shared, the more it made it harder for me to fall in love with my spouse. ERP is also very helpful. I did ERP for an old subtype I dealt with for 7 years, and I’m not in a place, where I haven’t thought about that in a year. So I’m trying my best to do the same with my rocd thoughts.
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