i feel like an animal abuser

Thank you, I will try.

@ivefailed. Imagine that OCD is like a little gremlin. He is always doing his very best to sabotage you and make you miserable. He's not your friend. He's going to lie to you every day, in order to torture you. So you need to practice how to stop listening to the OCD. When the OCD tells you anything, it is a lie. Right now, the OCD wants to tell you that you are a bad person. It also wants to tell you that you can't study because you need to do something to atone for this situation with your cat, even if that means just ruminating about it for a long time. But the truth is that you are free to go on with your life. You are free to study. Don't listen to the OCD!! When the OCD says you have to stay stuck and miserable, just keep studying and doing whatever it is you want to do. Now, you have to realize that when you do this, you are GOING to feel yucky inside. That's the nature of OCD recovery. When we disobey this little gremlin, who is always telling us what we have to do, we feel terrible inside. We have all sorts of terrible feelings. But OCD recovery means that you continue to live your life, despite the fact that you feel terrible inside. So in your case, that means that you need to continue to study, even though you may feel disturbed and distressed inside. Don't let yourself go back and get stuck in the situation. Practice moving on with your life, even though you feel disturbed. Over time, this will get easier and easier. And you will be able to apply this principal to other situations where the OCD lies to you.

@Tea and Honey thank you so much

@Tea and Honey Sometimes with OCD, we have to believe other people. We have to believe what they say even when we don't understand. When other people tell you that it's OK to dismiss the OCD, you can believe them, even if you don't understand inside. And you can ACT on the words that other people tell you, even if the OCD is screaming at you inside. When people tell you that you are not an animal abuser, you can believe them, even though the OCD is pitching a fit about that and giving you all sorts of reasons to feel bad about yourself. In other words, you can choose to believe and act on what other people on the outside tell you, even though it won't make any sense to your own brain. This happens to me all the time. My OCD tells me that I'm going to hell. It tells me that every minute of the day. But I have chosen to believe otherwise, even though it doesn't make sense to my brain (and it feels like it never will).