Your power is there !

I have been habitually waking up straight into a doom cycle of thoughts, especially before I have to get ready for work. This morning it got the best of me, I was fighting a panic attack as I was pulling myself out of bed. Even threw up from intense overwhelming anxiety of what I cannot control. Taking action is the best thing you can do for yourself in this moment, still brushing your teeth, washing your face, making a quick and easy breakfast, stepping outside for 5 minutes, it helped me re-center myself and have an opportunity to remind myself of my values, which brought a spark back into my body and motivated me to turn my day around, and I realized I am deserving of a better morning. For context, I really struggle with figuring out what’s “worth it” in my life, and that’s consumed most of my daily activities but mainly my job. I’m 23 and have been working my first 9-5 corporate health care job for the past year and a half, the thought of working a 9-5 monday-Friday for the rest of my life terrifies me, and this is because I’m a creative person, and I didn’t expect to reach a point where I had to abandon my creative projects to afford living, and now I’m incredibly burnt out and exhausted and it terrifies me. I just want to know if someone else can relate to that struggle, and if there’s any realizations or tips that help when trying to find your purpose again but also trying to survive and afford the cost of living.

bookishandi

Date posted: Yesterday

Hey, friend. I SO RELATE. I was just journaling about it—mornings when I don’t have to be out the door right away turn into ruminate-yourself-into-a-panic-attack mornings, so I want to figure out different routines or activities I can do instead of giving in to what OCD wants (to ruminate) that align with who I want to be. Another way I think about it is, “What am I avoiding or not doing because my OCD is telling me to think think think think? I’ll do that instead.” I’m successful about half the time 😅

jossyy

Date posted: Yesterday

@bookishandi No SERIOUSLY !! It’s exhausting 😭 one thing my therapist recommended is that when I wake up, if it’s before my alarm goes off or if I have some time before I go to work, if the thoughts are immediately bad I should just take action, get out of bed, do my routine and start a chill morning activity. And I think that helps a lot because sometimes I will wake up at 5am and feel like because it’s 5am and my alarm doesn’t go off until 7:30 am, I have to STAY in bed. When in reality, I can actually just get up and do something. Yes I’ll probably feel more tired from getting up early, but it’s so much better than mentally exhausting myself before my day even starts

bookishandi

Date posted: Yesterday

@jossyy Yup yup yup, same! It’s exactly that “But I don’t have to get up, so I should stay in bed.” And then brain goes 🚨🚨🚨. I find I’m better able to veg without falling in rumination cycles later in the day…so I’m trying to give myself grace to say, “Hey, for your mental and physical health you might not be able “rest” right now. But you can rest/nap/veg later, and actually get something out of it!”

izzzy_

Date posted: 18h

I struggle with a lot of the same—it’s so hard to start your day with overwhelming dread and panic attacks. Freaking exhausting. Glad to hear I’m not the only one. It makes it feel a little easier to manage.

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