Self aware but slipping

Lately I’ve been noticing the early signs of my OCD flaring, but I’m already in a depressive phase - even with the awareness, I still struggle to pull myself out of it. I stop leaving the house, basic self-care drops, I avoid groceries and day-to-day tasks get slow, compulsion FORCES cleanliness, from cleaning the windows, to the vents, carpets, literally doing any home cleaning tasks, over and over, each day, telling myself things will be fine once everything is done. Fun fact, things still aren’t fine but the house is clean. I’m just shut down mentally. It’s hard to feel stuck even when you can see it happening, and feel it happening. I’m sharing this here because NOCD has helped me understand my patterns in such a short time, and I’m trying to catch them earlier instead of disappearing into them, but I’m asking for help with this one, because it’s hard. If anyone else goes through these cycles, how do you stop the slide before it gets too deep, before you fully shut off from things & the people around you? I’d appreciate something small to start off with before recommending big tasks or outings.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

I am not great at this either. When I feel it coming it’s hard to know what to do and then I do freeze and shut down also. Something that has worked for me is audio stimulation. Turning music or a podcast on has helped sometimes. I try taking a hot or cold shower also. It’s discouraging that one feels like you need to watch it happen and play out. Thank you for sharing because I have been wondering the same thing.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous Thank you for taking the time to respond! I hope some of these comments help you as much as me, as for the audio stimulation - I didn’t realize this is a recognized thing, and absolutely agree that it helps to listen to things you enjoy, I’m going to be a lot more present when listening. 😊

Hobbit

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2d

I had an incredibly painful OCD flare up recently (and am still feeling the aftershocks). You are definitely not alone. Good job identifying your patterns and noticing your OCD and behavior — that’s huge ❤️ In terms of things I’ve found helpful in my most recent spike: (1) Messaging my therapist on the NOCD app. She is a Godsend and gave me encouragement, advice, and direction/ways to challenge my OCD, even in my hardest moments. (2) Self compassion. Being kind and gentle with myself, especially when I’m in a hard place has been really important. I tend to beat myself up when my OCD takes the wheel and this only makes my spiral worse. If you want more info about self compassion, i love Kimberly Quinlan’s podcast and workbook for OCD. I’ve found both incredibly helpful. (3) Really small, manageable exposures. I’ve worked with my therapist on finding small exposures, where I resist my OCD. It can be super tiny. I find it really helpful to remember I don’t have to take it on all at once. It’s one teeny step at a time. (4) doing something (anything) that fills my cup just a bit. It can be super small, whatever I can do. Maybe I eat some fruit, or I open a window for some light or fresh air, or I send a small msg to a friend or i make a cup of tea or do a sudoku. Anyway, these things have helped me — maybe something in there might be helpful for you? Either way, I’m cheering you on ❤️

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@Hobbit This is really insightful & helpful, thank you for taking the time to respond. 3 - thank you for the reminder that I do not have to take on everything at once, slowing down is allowed, it’s just internal pressure. 4 - another really good push of appreciation, for them little luxuries that do bring joy, a handful of berries, a podcast, listening to our open fire crackle, my cats touch, scrabble, there’s so many things fill my cup that I haven’t even pinpointed before. Thank you 🙏🏽

Hobbit

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous Glad something in there was helpful 😊 yes, I often forget I can take small steps too! ❤️

Hello777

Date posted: 2d

Hi! I was just wondering if something in particular happened in your life that may have triggered this depressive episode that you said that you are in along with the OCD flare up? Did something upsetting happen that maybe you can verbalize? Maybe the anxiety from that is causing you to retreat? Just thinking out loud!! The tips above sound great as well. Christian YouTube videos and some other self-help videos really help me as well. Also, are you taking any medication? Maybe some medication could help you too, but I don’t want to suggest that to anyone as I am not a doctor and don’t know how different people feel on different things. God bless you! 🙏🙏🙏

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@Hello777 Yes, I had an accident in June that pretty much changed my life, and my body physically - the depression. I had no control over what happened, so the retreating almost feels like I’m trying to be in my own space, where I have control - or I’m just lazy, I literally don’t even know at this point. Religion isn’t something I’m open to with my therapy, but I’m so glad you have that to help you & I appreciate your support. I use medication, it’s helped a lot - the rest is up to me with therapy, I’m hoping to come off the medication slowly as things improve. 🫶🏽

bookishandi

Date posted: 2d

When I am feeing really stuck with basic self care things (getting out of Jammies, taking a shower, going to the gym) I repeat my mantra “Do it anyway” I often notice that once I get moving/going, it’s not so hard to stay moving/going. So I might be sad, or anxious, or afraid, or tired, but I gotta do it anyway.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@bookishandi This is really good reminder that once I’m up & going, things do feel more smooth & comfortable - thank you.

ErinCap

Date posted: 13h

For me leaving the house in the morning to run a quick errand or get a coffee seems to set me on a better path for the day. Getting out of the 4 walls that haunt me with the same tasks that never are truly finished gets me in a better mood for a bit. It’s hard to me to sit and just watch tv and relax without looking at my phone compulsively or cleaning, my therapist recommends an exposure of sitting and watching an entire show start to finish. Or even sitting in silence as an exposure.

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