we broke up and im moving for a bit

we decided it was best to break up, we live together, but shes still in school and because im not and my job is already falling apart its best for me to leave this coast and return where im from. its devastating, over 2 years together and if i just had better impulse control and was a better listener and didnt avoid our issues things wouldve been better. but at the end of the day this was a mutual decision and was necessary for our individual growth, we both need time and space to grow and heal. the hope is that we can rekindle our spark again in the future but my bipolaresq spiraling and disrespect and instigation of fighting isnt helping either of us and makes her scared of me, and im scared of me too, who have i become. its for the best, its necessary right now and we have faith this will make us stronger together but we also have to accept the uncertainty. and thats hard. im gonna keep going to CODA and start therapy back in my home state, its just a temporary move back to let things settle and be less tense, but with space and time i hope we will be better individuals so we can be better for each other. its devastating, but we both need to respect ourselves and i need to let her go for good and the only way i can is to leave for a while.