Why

@Love1another<3 How am I supposed to know the rest of my life right now. I’m 22

@Firefly girl That is very true haha 😂 I’ll instead change my wording to the foreseeable future.* Because when we sign up for commitment, we sign up for committing for as long as we can see

@Love1another<3 Sorry if that was harsh. I just wonder if it’s my ocd/commitment issues making me think I don’t want monogamy . I love him and want him in my life and want that to be enough . He also told me I could go on a date with another guy if I wanted to, but I know he doesn’t want to/isn’t dating other women he’s just saying that bc he doesn’t want me to feel controlled or trapped . But I love him so much that if he did want to start seeing other women I would permit it. It’s just weird loving someone freely like this. But I don’t know how id feel about intimacy with other people. Idk I don’t truly want to go on a date with someone new, I think it is the “shoulds” of society to not “settle” so young . But at the same time this could just be self-assurance I just fear making a mistake / never knowing what I truly want . And I desperately want my deep love care and respect for him to be enough to stay

@Firefly girl Thanks, it’s totally okay :) I completely understand how relationships can be stressful sometimes ❤️‍🩹 On top of that, OCD unfortunately makes it even harder for everyone to make decisions. That would make anyone upset. Ocd definitely makes us confused, especially after we ruminate for a while. Though, deep down we initially do know our real values. For example, I remember you told me that it’s not your desire to commit. So even though OCD is confusing right now, you do know your value deep in your heart. The unfortunate part is that Ocd is trying to change your mind and suppress your desires, out of the fear of loss. Thankfully the fear of loss can definitely be helped with ERP <3 You’re right that society definitely does pressure us to do certain things. I’ve felt that too! I relate a lot to you. I try to remind myself that what society says- doesn’t apply to everyone. We all have different comfort levels, backgrounds, and experiences. Some people get married at 18. Some people get married at 70. Some people never want to get married ever. Some people like to date multiple people, some people like to date exclusively. Some people want to build a family. Some people never want to build a family. Everyone’s path is different :)

@Love1another<3 I’m not afraid of being alone I just want him in my life because he’s a special and meaningful person to me

@Love1another<3 I think I have it ingrained in my brain that the only way to continue growing and expanding is to leave him behind and it’s unfair because I don’t want that to be true

@Firefly girl Yeah I’m totally sorry you’re feeling this way :( I hope it gets better. It really does suck how unfair life is, especially when we love someone so much. I’ve been in your shoes with my exes. It’s hard. With anything in life: whatever is meant for you- you will feel confident about it and you will know it in your gut 🙏❤️‍🩹

@Love1another<3 I wish you lots of happiness and success! 💕You got this 💪 I believe in you

@Love1another<3 It’s hard to know gut with OCD

@Firefly girl That’s why when people say it’s not real it freaks me tf out bc how is it possible to be so certain about something there’s no proof for

@Firefly girl No worries! 🫶 That’s understandable <3 I think using some ERP strategies could help such as leaning into the uncertainty. As well as using “maybe, maybe not” statements