For my fellow christians: This is reaaally beside the topic but i have to get it of my chest. Okay so like i really wanna be excited for jesus to retun but damn that makes me sooooo anxious. When i imagine it it makes me scared an di know u should be excited and so happy and u should be wanting it but as much as i force myself to feel thst all i feel is extreme anxiety and sometimes i habe a whole panic attack because of it snd i dont want to feel it it makes me feel like i will go to hell for it and i always wanna do better but i just cant and i dont even take the time to read the bible and if i loved jesus i would do that but im too lazy and focussed on otber things and idk it sll makes me so anxious

My friend, you sound like me in so many ways. I’ve struggled with the thought of His return for a long time. I think you should bring this to God and tell Him what is on your heart. It may also help to figure out why you’re feeling this way. I hate even saying this, but I think part of why I struggle with it is because I have so many dreams that only pertain to this life and I want to them to come true but I worry they won’t. But the truth is that Jesus’ timing is perfect and my relationship with Him matters more than any of my dreams for this life no matter how much I desire them. If this is the same for you, I would recommend praying for a relationship with Jesus that goes deeper than the desire for any of your dreams to come true. I used to worry that I will be judged harshly when He returns. Maybe it meant that I had a sin in my life that I was being convicted of or maybe it was something else. But Jesus is not returning to punish His followers, but instead to reward them mercifully. I also don’t devote enough time to Bible reading. I would suggest trying to read in the morning when you wake up. Maybe set a reminder on your phone or leave a note by your bed if you have to. You’re not alone in this struggle. I myself need to do everything I just suggested you do.

@Catlady thank you?? this is very comforting to hear. I relate to the dream part but sadly hocd striked me and i lost all my passions for my dreams so its a veeery empty feeling. Apart from losing all my happy feelings i lost my good bond with god. I talked to him all the tkme and actially felt his love and guidance. All of t is gone. I feel like ever since ocd ive become a worse person in so many ways. Ive started to care less about other people and about peoplenin this world and suddenly i dont feel the pain of bad things like war and i know its sounds crazy but i really dont know what it is but the feeling is just gone and i feel so numb and i really wanna feel it again i wanna feel things and be human but its just not happening and i totslly dont fele like myself. Thats why i feel like im extra sinning and like god left me and as if evil took over and its freaking me out im thinking so much about hell and i also do the compulsions where i csnt say omg or wwhenever i swear i say sorry in my head and idk it goes very deep. I find it so hard to find the good in me Thanks for commenting tho its really supporting :)

@hocdgirlsummer I’m glad you found it comforting. I can relate to a lot of what you just said too. I do feel like my bond with God had changed which is painful to even think about. I’ve dealt with a lot of emotional numbness too. But as long as we abide with God He will abide with us. He sent Jesus to die so that we could be with Him. The Bible is the story of God continually making a way to bring us back to Him. We have to remember that. You’re clearly worried about doing the right thing which means you have a healthy conscience and that is what God wants. It’s possible that the reason why you feel like you care less about other people is from your emotional numbness and that you really haven’t changed underneath it all.

Yeah sameni had this to when i was like 12 maybe i used to have this whooole list of hings i wanted to prevent my damily of getting like cancer or dying that day and rhen id name all those rhings and i would say please dont let this happen to: the whole list of family member names i printed In my brain and rhen id do that like 10 times a day.