Guys I did it

@JeffTheGiraffe THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!☺️😝

@EnglishBreakfast00 Thank you!!! 🥹☺️

@Amason22 Thank you!

@lemonmuffin Thanks girly!!!🥰

@Jailyn.h1 Do you maybe have Apple Watch? I have been thinking about buying it just so i can track my heart beats especially during panic attacks, but don’t know will that make me obsessed.

@lemonmuffin Yes I do it’s good to use it when you exercise but I don’t think it will help if you have it with you every day. I stopped using it cause u was obsessed with it

@Jailyn.h1 I wanted to share something really cool i saw these days put OCD is stopping me to post it so I’ll put it here in the comments 😂😍😍🍰

@lemonmuffin Is that RAPUNZEl!!!!! OMG I LOVVVE IT!!!!!!😍😍😍

@Jailyn.h1 Yesssss and its a CAKEEE 🍰😂

@lemonmuffin EVEN BETTER!!!!!!😆😆😆😆but I’m wondering how you eat it😂😂😂soooo freaking coool!

@Jailyn.h1 Its Stockholms gingerbread exibition so its not edible 😂🧁but yes it looks tastyy

@Jailyn.h1 Im really in panic mode these days like anxiety is eating me and trying to not take medications like benzodiazepine so talking like this with someone is literally keeping me still fr 🍰💪🏻

@lemonmuffin This is good!!! Know that it’s not scary to take medication but if you don’t want to that’s okay too. Do you get scared? I used to be cause I thought by getting on anxiety meds it was going to Mae me become addicted or worse my ocd kicked in and said that my heart is going to enlarge but no those are lies. I sometimes get anxiety but they aren’t as strong as they were before

@lemonmuffin You should have seen me a year and a half ago I looked so pale disoriented and I was always having palpitations and anxiety and yet the doctors told me I was fine I didn’t believe them it took me this long to believe them 😂

@Jailyn.h1 I don’t want to but it feels like i will have to since my heart is racing for days now, im not scared but i am, you know how anxiety works, and i also think i got addicted to benzo because before only a half of 5 mg would keep me okay, now 10 mg which is eh. I got vitamin D suplements and have no clue is it because of that that im more nervous now since i have more energy, and since then i noticed that im more feeling stressed. 🩸

@Jailyn.h1 Im also very pale and disoriented rn, also i didn’t tell you my name (mb) im Lanaa 😂

@lemonmuffin Don’t worry!! It’s nice to meet you Lana 😆😁I’m so sorry I got caught up in doing things. How are you doing? I hope your feeling better

@Jailyn.h1 Im alright as much as i can be with this condition, how about you, i went to sleep last night earlier and didn’t even sleep very well because i usually sleep on my stomach and then obviously i can feel my heart pounding like 1000, but how about youuu?? 💪🏻🧐

@lemonmuffin I did sleep that way last night I felt like a sudden adrenaline and I felt warm and I woke up in a panic attack. I felt my heartbeat fast as I was walking. I was slightly prepared tbh. I took my bag with my medicine and the no no I did was go to my mom and ask for reassurance instead of being with the panic.. after I told her do I need the ambulance? I haven’t asked that In A while I just left and went outside at 1am to sit in the cold it helps me when I’m anxious. As of right now I’ve been good heart rate is normal and my doctor said that having low bp is normal for me since I’m not too skinny but petite.lol

@Jailyn.h1 Im also skinny but have higher bp 😂 this morning i took benzo 10 mg right before my way to Stockholm and from higher constant stress on empty stomach i got dizzy afterwards and felt like i was on drugs. Good thing is that it calmed me down and that “passing out” feeling didn’t Stay for a while.

@Jailyn.h1 How are you now tho?

@lemonmuffin I’m so glad to hear that! Ugh it’s the worst to be honest and I’ll tell you that as I was walking normal and fine and feeling my heart rate up with me hyperventilating catching my breath tbh idk if it’s paid or a heart attack but as it went away I knew it was a panic attack. And let me ask you how do you know the difference

@lemonmuffin I’m doing better tbh. I get those moments of anxiety just thinking about what happened and that’s my problem I think about it so much that I think it’s going to happen again

@lemonmuffin Currently laying down. My mom said to me that I need to get into Gods presence more because he brings healing

@Jailyn.h1 Difference between what? My panic attacks are reallyyyy fast heart beats and i can’t calm myself down i even feel dizzy and fast breathing etc.

@Jailyn.h1 Don’t think about it!!!! I got so many triggers while walking around town but honestly its draining to think abt that all the time

@lemonmuffin Like the difference between panic attacks and heart attacks that sounds harsh tbh and scary

@lemonmuffin It truly is tbh!!! My triggers are mostly at night time!!!

@Jailyn.h1 What Are your triggers?

@lemonmuffin God forbid that yes 👏🏽 me ether

@lemonmuffin Triggers are when I’m around a lot of people, under stress and overthinking a lot about my health and my heart

@Jailyn.h1 Same but i don’t have really health OCD, being around people and so triggers me a lot though for horrible thoughts that are UNWANTED very much

@lemonmuffin I see alright mine is mostly health ocd sometimes people and a bit of my past trauma life 😬

@lemonmuffin And also family problems sometimes they don’t understand my panic attacks and tell me to stop worrying

@Jailyn.h1 What makes me calm is repeatedly washing hands and also NUMBERS don’t even get me started i hate them

@Jailyn.h1 I also have past trauma thats why im like this

@Jailyn.h1 My mom understands but no one else really knows tbh and don’t want them to know

@lemonmuffin What does your ERP look like

@Jailyn.h1 Like nothing since im scared to do it

@Jailyn.h1 My ERP was today to get on a train and go to Stockholm and be by myself and be around people and NOT wash hands for every single thing that my brain doesn’t wanna see since theres no toilets around

@lemonmuffin I’m proud of you for doing that!!! That’s a good step!! And do you know the difference between a panic attack and OCD

@Jailyn.h1 I get panic attacks mostly because of OCD if my rituals or some shit that i have to do to feel “clean” doesn’t work then i get into panic

@Jailyn.h1 Or uncertanity if im not 100% sure about something

@lemonmuffin I see that’s what I feel about me checking my bp if I get into a panic I straight up wake up (now this is what I used to do) in a panic heart racing and check my bp. I still get moments of panic when I constantly check it to see if “I’m okay” when I already am I feel like it’s mental for me a mental compulsion.

@Jailyn.h1 Honestly its so draining i feel so uncertain rn and thats eating me

@Jailyn.h1 Thats why i don’t want Apple Watch tbh 😂 but Yea i get you

@lemonmuffin Honestly haven’t worn mine ever since 💖

@Jailyn.h1 Better!!!! 🥰

@lemonmuffin Right! And honestly having that off is actually helping me not be too obsessed over it, but I need to get rid of. Is the blood pressure machine and also the need to like place my hand over my heart sometimes because I do that.

@Jailyn.h1 Sometimes im wondering is OCD even curable at this condition, i remember when i was 10 everything had to be perfect in my room or with my toys and stuff and honestly that was cute but this bruh this is soooooo draining

@lemonmuffin Right I believe that it’ll get better overtime, but I feel like everybody has like some type of OCD. It’s just not only specific people but when I was younger, I used to have a boyfriend that who I’m no longer with he’s in the past now and I will constantly ask for reassurance from my parents if this is the right person what he’s doing is bad and I will constantly check what he would do so I don’t know if I had it. I just did not care and just live life in the moment till a point where it started to give me panic attack attacks I’m not sure.

@lemonmuffin Yes I do have social anxiety

@Jailyn.h1 Same its horrible atp

@lemonmuffin What I do is I just push right through and talk to people because I need to get out of my comfort zone and out of the house more

@Jailyn.h1 Do you have any Social media i can add you on since we can’t talk here on messages and we literally filled your comment section? 😂😂

@lemonmuffin Yeah! I do I have Facebook Instagram and Snapchat which one do you prefer?

@lemonmuffin Don’t worry haha😂😂

@Jailyn.h1 I deactivated insta because of ocd and stress so i have snap

@lemonmuffin You can add me there