Indecision OCD - Careers

Hi - My name is Chrissy and I am new to this group. I want to connect with others that have potentially gone through the same struggles or have the same obsessions I have and have learned how to cope. I have indecision OCD. I figured out I had OCD about 2 years ago and realized how much it has affected my entire life and my relationships. My compulsions involve heavily asking for reassurance from loved ones and online research. I can spend hours evaluating the pros and cons before making a decision. Minor decisions like what to eat at a restaurant aren’t the issue but big life changing decisions are. What I’ve been obsessing about most of my life the past 3 years is whether to change my job and whether to have children. I finally got the right kind of help and worked with an ERP therapist for about 9 months. She got me to change jobs, making a career change, and start trying for children which has been great progress for me. However, I’m still constantly caught up in every single day whether this new career path is a good fit, how it will work with me being hopefully a mom someday, and whether I can manage it all while also managing OCD. My intrusive thoughts can be so bad that it can make it impossible to even work sometimes at all. I’m on medicine now that is helping me more but I still am so stuck in the same looping thoughts. I question all the time whether I’m in the right job, should I go back to my old job because the ability to work part time was there while the ability to work part time at this job is very unknown, or should I just give up and be a stay at home mom because I can’t commit to any one job. I think I have this fear that I can’t handle being a mom and having OCD and having a full time job. Additionally I feel like I have an inability to commit to a career path and growth in one direction because I’m terrified of getting trapped in a position I’m miserable in. I’m also terrified of how that misery or inability to balance/manage my OCD will impact my life for my children and my marriage. I live most days battling my what if thoughts. I’m hopefully not seeking reassurance through this post but I’m ultimately looking to connect with others who have similar struggles with indecision OCD and how you’ve been able to manage, especially when it comes to career. I also just want to share my story and learn about more ways this community can help. If this post is asking for reassurance then feel free to tell me and this post can be disregarded.