Bit of a dump or maybe some hope✨

I've been dealing with OCD for some time now. I havent gotten the chance to get an actual diagnosis and meds cuz i cant let people know, here in the balkans its still a bit of a taboo thing to talk mental ilness. I've dealt with it on my own and managed to make quite great progress, I started doing ERP a few years ago and managed to actually learn to deal with it in a healthy way and try to live my life again. For some time it was rough and then it kinda settled in, for most of 2024 my OCD wasn't a problem. Here comes 2025 and I got a massive flare up, I had anxiety over driving school, religious beliefs (that was deeper tho cuz i deconstructed from Christianity) and relationship OCD. What I'm looking for is a bit of hope, maybe experiences of people who have dealt with really bad simptomps (im talking anxiety that makes you sick), that feeling that it never will go away, that despair when ocd pushes you into a state of inner reflexion and you feel disconected from reality. I know there isn't a cure but I also know ERP work and it can help massively. But it's so hard to fight it and it's so tiring, waking up everyday with that anxiety and doing your exposures (seeing results) but never actually feeling like you're getting to that place of peace. Like, IM BETTER, but I dont feel like im ever gonna be ok in the real sense. Does that make sense?

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Date posted: Yesterday

I use to be completely immersed in an OCD world, detached from everything. I fed my ocd for decades. I am getting better. I’ve healed a lot, and overcome years of ingrained OCD behaviors. I still struggle, and I’m always still learning, but I’m much stronger than my OCD now. My life is getting better, it’s not linear progress, but I’m healing. I hope that provides some comfort and hope.

jay4572

Date posted: Yesterday

I get you kinda but can you clarify it a bit for me? Also how are you doing ERP?

Dragos

Date posted: 20h

Idk what to clarify really. I feel like i've gotte over a bunch of stuff but also there's so much more, ERP is sometimes tiring and the fact that I have pure O makes it worse cuz the compulsions are mostly mental. I do ERP by imagining myself in the scenarios that trigger me on a daily basis, i try to sit with the uncertainty and give it at least 5 minutes. It depends on how the obsession works but mainly this is it. There's also just practices I do on a daily basis like minfulness, trying to be present in the moment even if the feeling of my triggers want me to be in my mind and ruminate.

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