Overcoming dentist avoidance

I had a very bad dentist experience in 2020 and have not been able to go to a dentist since. Its not a phobia, I dont think. It really feels like my OCD. I ruminate, then avoid. Something bad will happen if I go to a dentist again. Im not sure what, but of course Ive imagined every possible thing over and over and some of the scenarios are so outlandish I know its my OCD. I also stopped flossing after that and have to distract myself with something in order to be able to brush my teeth, so sometimes a few days go by before I can get myself in a frame of mind to be able to brush my teeth again. Just related subject matter sets me off: I run through what happened again and again and run through all the bad scenerios that could happen -when I brush my teeth or something related comes up,etc. Like I had to leave when a kid showed me where her tooth fell out and I realized over an hour later that Id just gone out to my car and sat in the parking lot ruminating over it all. So all that was a perfect storm for a dental emergency, which is why Im going to dentist on monday to avoid sepsis. I can't be the only one who's had a situation like this: maybe not specifically the dentist, although I feel like that might be kind of common, but something where you HAD to go somewhere to do something that youve been avoiding HARD -there is no way to continue avoiding this. But I had to take the day off from work to even get myself to a place where I could call and make an appointment. What are some things that have helped you get into the headspace to go do something like that -and to keep from freaking out while waiting? And I feel like just laying eyes on the stuff in the office is going to trigger me big time. Im worried I'll get there and won't be able to go through with the appointment and I really, really need to. I mean, I was trying not to say it because it bothers me so bad i feel like saying it might be bad for someone else with OCD reading this: but how the heck am I ever going to be able to let a stranger touch my mouth?

Real Events OCD

cjay

Date posted: Yesterday

Hello! I have a huge fear of the dentist and have since I was little and I haven’t even had a bad experience so I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. I know that for me, it’s all sensory+the lack of control that I have over things when I’m there. I obviously don’t know how to fix my problems or do dental work so I have to completely give control over to strangers who may or may not listen to me when I need a break. I’ve found for me that I need a whole day off for the dentist. It’s preparation that starts in the morning and then after the appointment I decompress and take very good care of myself. I also have found that the dentists typically want to help you be less afraid too. I opened up about my fear to my dentist and now they’ve made plenty of accommodations for me that have made me less afraid each time I go. Open communication can really help and I’m sure they’d love to help you! I hope something in my response gives some support.

SalishSevin

Date posted: 23h

Thank you. Yes this does help. I realized as I read it that Im feeling a lot of shame for taking the day off to make my appointment, and for my appointment which I know most people probably don't have to do that. Reframing it as taking care of myself helps a lot. In fact, as Im writing this Im realizing that Ive been blaming myself a lot for needing to go to the dentist -and maybe thats true because I havent been able to take care of my teeth because of this aversion -but its already been done, hasnt it? Everyone who goes to the dentist with a toothache, could be said they could have done better, doesnt it, but the dentist still helps them anyways. And the control part -once you say it, I realize thats a big part of it that I hadnt been able to identify, but thats almost at the root of it, isnt it? Im thinking of bringing a friend. They offered, but I felt stupid being a grownup that cant go to the dentist by themselves.

Moon25

Date posted: 22h

@SalishSevin first of all, i’m proud of you for taking this step!! You can tell them about your anxieties and they should absolutely be accommodating and understanding (speaking from experience, I now actually like my dentists office/dentist and don’t fear going nearly as much as i used to) also bringing a friend is a good idea, if you want! they dont have to go in the back with you if that’s not comfortable for you, they can just chill in the waiting area. Just knowing someone you trust is there with you throughout the whole process can help ground you a bit and it’s completely normal to bring someone along:). I also have a “self care” day on my appointment days. show yourself compassion, you got this!!

SalishSevin

Date posted: 16h

@Moon25 Thank you. I talked to the dentist and they are ok with my friend beimg there. Which is good because they also had a cancellation this afternoon. I really want to go to it because im in incredible pain and sepsis actually is a concern, but Im silently freaking out. Ok no I just rearranged everything in the bathroom drawers. Maybe not so silently...

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