- Date posted
- 18h
Sleepless Nights
I’ve been having so many sleepless nights lately. I’ve always dealt with insomnia from rumination, but now that I’ve stopped smoking weed to fall asleep, I’m realizing how much it was covering up. My brain literally will not turn off. It is not even conscious thoughts. It is like my subconscious is running in the background while my eyes are closed. It feels more like I am stuck in meditation than actually sleeping. Last night I got maybe thirty minutes of real sleep. My body is so used to this that I still get up when my alarm goes off, but I am a zombie the whole day. I tried to lay back down around 8 a.m. for just an hour, and when I opened my eyes it was 8:52. I was not actively thinking about anything. It is just this quiet mental noise that keeps my whole body restless while I am praying for REM. Melatonin does nothing for me. I tried it again and it did not change anything. I am honestly scared my system is out of sync, and part of me keeps wanting to go back to weed because at least I slept. But I am trying to stay sober and clear headed, and I also have this dental implant so I really should not be smoking anyway. Just needed to get this out. If anyone has dealt with this level of insomnia, what helped you? I am struggling.