Does this happen to any other adults? 20+ only

I did that when I was younger too but that was because I didn't know anything about sexuality and porn was the only thing I did know. It's just the problem is I'll search something that has a perfectly normal popular character in it and it will give me okay things, really messed up things about the character, or literal minors whether it's the timeline, weirdos uploading the bad content on the same channel they have the okay content, or the search just being wrong. Then I feel like I'm responsible

@BigGyro09 So you basically feel like it’s wrong because the normal stuff is bunched in with the weird stuff?

@Anonymous Precisely. That's how it's always been with fictional content for me. I'm not as bothered by the weird stuff because as long as it has two adults it's not too bad. Weird at most, but not illegal. It's different and was worse with people literally using characters that are knowingly minors. It makes me sick that they just upload that stuff, share it, and don't care. And what's even more disgusting is people defend it by saying they aren't real, which according to the laws they're unfortunately right but morally they're still fucking disgusting freaks

Someone on this app spends a lot of their time reporting this same inappropriate content on Twitter and I want them to just leave Twitter like you did. It's extremely disgusting how people think on that platform. I'm glad I don't use it. Another problem is that there are channels that I have constantly revisited because they have content I'm very attracted to but they also have really disturbing stuff that I always try not to watch. But sometimes they come up in shorts and I scroll and see it but immediately close it but it gets on the watch history if I don't pause it. I hate this because I feel like computer animated content is sometimes better than real content but they also have less limits and they are prone to more and more disgusting things, so i think that me just trying to find the okay content is bad because in my mind I'm risking seeing the nasty, disgusting stuff I don't want to see. Then I sometimes get a thought saying "You do want to see this intentionally" but I don't.

@BigGyro09 oh i’ve seen their posts too i think, i definitely feel for them cuz ik how it is. & yeaaa twitter has always been pretty bad, i’ve seen a lot of really terrible stuff on there overall. even like violent content that’s really gross and now it’s even worse with who owns it🙃 i was the same way, i felt like it might be more ethical to watch animated content like that but there’s whole other problems that arise with that. i don’t think you have to be ashamed about watching the other stuff though because it’s pretty common, and again it’s not your fault that people make things like that. like you said, you know you don’t actually want to see that sort of stuff. are there channels that you know are safe/free of the other stuff? maybe it would help to stick to that or if there’s specific characters you could make it to where you can block those words so you don’t see content of those characters.

@worryywart Yeah, I just want them to be free of that and not give it any attention anymore because it's so draining to be wrapped up in that stuff all the time. I don't really think there's any way to guarantee ethical NSFW content on YouTube because there's limits to it and there are also ways around the ToS to where people can abuse it. The best that I could do is insert names of people and characters and curate my own playlist of that content but there's still the chance I see something that I'm not okay with or disturbed by. If they're real people, they're likely adults in the settings but if their fictional it's a lot harder to tell. I just try to tell myself I'm looking for one thing I'm fine with despite the results giving me unhelpful results. I wish YouTube had it to where you can block key words but people would just get around that too. The whole point of the playlist for me is that I don't have to keep looking for everything again when I start wanting to watch it. All of this to say, I don't think I want adult content in my life but I'm just having a lot of trouble with keeping it out.

@BigGyro09 ooh i’m not sure how it works on youtube, i didn’t even know that sort of stuff was on there at least not explicitly. i guess just telling yourself that you know what you’re actually looking for and to not give too much thought to everything else. the playlist thing makes sense too. for me i had a lot of bookmarks but that led to me just bookmarking random things without necessarily thinking and realizing some of it was stuff i didn’t want to see or didn’t know the context behind it. sometimes it helps to just ween yourself off of it, especially if it’s bothered you for so long. but also not to shame yourself too much for something that’s fairly normal for a lot of people our age. you can absolutely get to the point where it’s completely cut out though! i’m still getting there myself with similar things and it’s hard but you should be compassionate with yourself!! (^-^)

@worryywart I guess that's all I can really do is not have too much thought over it. That's really hard with OCD and all. There's also times where I get really worried about characters that don't have official ages like comic book and anime characters. I see that spider Gwen is 19 but it also says 16 and I've unfortunately seen very graphic things with her depicted in it. Then I get extremely triggered worrying about finding attraction to those characters or watching videos thinking they are adults. Or there will be characters that look like minors but are 18. I want to just ween off of it to where I no longer watch it anymore. But then I think about it and get cravings or anxiety will be too strong to where I to back to it. I'm just trying to be compassionate and remember my core values as a person. Thank you. :)

@BigGyro09 no joke that was one of the EXACT characters i had freaked out over, as well as another character from that universe that idk the confirmed age of. it’s weird because the movies and comics are different and i wasn’t entirely sure of her age i just assumed she was older since i was seeing content of her but when i looked it up i freaked out since i got two different answers. also with characters a lot of shows unfortunately make them look older/have older actors playing them or put them in situations that are inappropriate, or they’ll be “technically” an adult but they look like a literal child. i absolutely hate that trope in anime and i’d unfortunately seen a lot of content like that when i was really really young. even if in the future you have some slip-ups, that’s okay! you just have to treat it as any other addiction or compulsion to where eventually your brain won’t feel the need to do it. as long as you know where your heart really is (even tho ocd likes to make you question all that) then you’ll be ok :)

@worryywart What a coincidence.. I'm sorry that happened to you too. I've mostly been her age be 19, but then I see older and then I see younger. I saw that she was an adult in one movie, an adult in one comic, but a minor in the animated versions. Unfortunately that's the one people use a lot of and it's very triggering and disturbing. Again, I don't look for this stuff, it just shows up on channels that I click on, hoping to just see other adults, or playlists that I have little to no control over or related videos. It really is confusing and doesn't help. That trope is precisely why I don't watch anime too much, aside from recommendations and very popular ones. I've also seen a lot of that and thought it was normal when I was a very young teen. I just wish we had someone to trust to tell us about the dangers of this stuff. This along with many other reasons is why I just want to stop watching this stuff and not engage with it. And just hold off until I'm in a relationship with someone. That and I wouldn't want this stuff to be involved in relationships and I never feel ready to ask someone out because I'm afraid I'll slip back into watching this behind their back. It just sucks. :(

@BigGyro09 yeah idk why people model the character after the minor version of her, the other character i worried about was spider punk but i think he’s like 19-20? i’d only sent the first movie ages ago and clips of the second so i wasn’t even sure of the ages of characters in the second one and didn’t think of it but felt really disgusted when i found out later on. its way too normalized in anime and sometimes even in media in the u.s. as well like euphoria which i think i talked about before. i’m sorry you had to see that stuff as well, it can really warp the way you think about stuff :// i’ve thought about that with relationships as well. i guess it just depends on the person and if you have a conversation with them about it and just being open and honest that it’s something you’ve struggled with. i’ve worried that i’d somehow be cheating if i read fan fiction while being in a relationship but i know i’ve had friends who do the same and their partners didn’t really care much so idk. i’m just sort of scared of pursuing a romantic relationship at all with all this ocd stuff. so i definitely relate with never asking anyone out but for me it’s also just not being asked out myself.

@worryywart I honestly don't know either. It's just sick to me. We did talk about euphoria and that's so fucking gross that people actually thought designing the movie like that was a good idea. But this stuff already happened with high school themed movies, which are the kind of movies I absolutely loathe and hate. I hate almost anything to do with high school. They only get away with it because they use adults portraying teens. If that's the case, why not just make it college themed? I don't get it. I'm scared of pursuing relationships because of OCD and porn being in my life. I sort of relate to not being asked out but that's because of the societal "rules" in place where apparently men have to make the first move. The whole cheating with fan fiction and porn just depends on the two people. I know I wouldn't be okay with it, but there are people that are. It's case by case.

@BigGyro09 yeah they could just make it college themed, but the director of that show is just super goddamn weird and i can’t stand the guy. he made a whole other show that he basically took from a female director and turned it into this gross oversexualized abusive mess. i hate that i watched euphoria when i was in hs because it made me feel like i was lame or something for not having certain experiences but now i know they’re just things that teenagers shouldn’t be doing and should be protected from that rule about guys always asking the other person out first is also really stupid and i’ve never understood it, just like men paying for a date. i’ve never been on one but i’ve always thought it was weird. that’s why i’ve never made the “first move” or whatever as a girl because people say guys don’t like it😭 makes no sense to me. also the emphasis on looks really sucks for me because i’ve had guys be really mean about that. girls haven’t been much better tho so idk dating just hasn’t been a strong suit for me yeah i probably wouldn’t read that sort of stuff if i was in a relationship but it’s a similar thing of feeling like i’d just revert back to reading it even though the only reason i do right now is because im not in a relationship myself. i feel like if i was in a relationship i wouldn’t really have a need to read it anymore

@worryywart Yeah the directors are usually to blame for the products of movies, not the actors. I hope no one was disturbed or abused when filming that show, but it's hard to not believe that because of what they were doing in the first place. Then again there are some movies that just have some seriously messed up things in it that I'm surprised actors can even keep it together for their role. It's crazy. I honestly don't know who should make the first move. As for paying for a date, I saw that it depends on whoever initiates the date to begin with. It could be case by case as well, don't really know to be honest. Little to no experience with it. As for looks, it's really bad for both men and women. Virginity is insanely criticized, men get made fun of for their height, weight, a lot of the things they can't control and heavy societal expectations for both men and women in different ways that hurts them exclusively. It just sucks. A lot of the things I worry about are things that I do kind of want, but are forced upon by society. Dating is a really big one. Same here. I know that if I was free off this stuff for some time, and in a relationship, I wouldn't have a need to use it. But then I feel like intrusive thoughts and unwanted urges would show up to remind me of it. I don't know how people navigate this stuff so easily. I know not everybody struggles with adult content use but I truly think it's just the shame that makes this so much worse than it actually is.

@BigGyro09 i’m not sure about the actors specifically but i know the show really glorified abuse so i wouldn’t be surprised. especially with producers/directors like weinstein out there that were just really gross. i’ve heard of a lot of roles that have really screwed actors up from playing them, like heath ledger with the joker. also the whole drama with lack of intimacy coordinators. it’s really awful. i guess it might just depend on the date. i’ve always just thought splitting the bill made sense, that’s usually what i do when i go out to eat with my friends at least. i went on like one “date” in highschool and it was just to sonic so i definitely don’t really know😭 i’ve always been pretty bad at social cues anyways and dating is just one of those things that has so many “rules” that i don’t get beauty standards are so skewed in general for everyone, especially with how normalized cosmetic surgery is now. i remember wanting a nose job when i was like 7 which looking back was absolutely not normal. the height thing is also so ridiculous to me as well, personally i like short guys but ik a lot of people make a fuss over it, and weight is something i’ve struggled with personally especially now that the whole heroin chic thing is coming back🫠 being a virgin is another reason i’m scared to date a bit, you either get people that make fun of it or people that are really weird about it with the “purity” thing. people make dating such an integral part of their value as well, like you’re doing something wrong if you’re not in a relationship even though that’s insane. honestly i wish i knew how other people dealt with this sort of stuff :/ some people just think nothing of it, it’s definitely the intensified shame that has a lot to do with how much it bothers us. i’m sure if we told some people what we worry about they wouldn’t even bat an eye at it.

@worryywart Intimacy coordinators? I had no idea that was needed for scenes in movies. But yeah I know there are really messed up stories about things that have happened in movie scenes. The biggest one being the guy that shot Brandon Lee, which really messed him up for life. It requires an extremely strong mindset for actors to do what they do. I always thought splitting the bill made a lot of sense too. I don't see why that isn't the norm. It's especially conspicuous when one person orders more than they would have to and then choose to not pay. I would just pay for the food I ordered and that's it. I've never had a date in person before. I've only had flings over the Internet and one date that I can consider someone I liked for them but I was not in the place to be dating whatsoever. Another part of me thinks I'm just making it more complicated than it just liking someone a lot and asking them out. As for all of the beauty standards, someone who truly accepts you for you won't worry about insignificant stuff like that. It's okay to have preferences but I don't think it's okay to be so attached to those preferences and be so hooked up on them you can't be more open minded about others. It's just not right to me. Yeah, I don't think they would worry about it that much at all. Maybe they would say what we're saying about it but they'd just say move on from it. Which that's all we could do anyway, but still. I just feel like there's more to it and stuff.