sense of shame

My therapist sent me this: https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/how-do-i-stop-thinking-about-this-what-to-do-when-youre-stuck-playing-mental-ping-pong/ The whole message of "Maybe they think this way, maybe they don't is helpful for me. There's no way to be 100% sure what others think and that's okay." Affirmation of possibility is what it's called.

Maya, people with OCD tend not to give themselves a break. We tend to judge ourselves much more critically than the rest of the population. We agonize over every small thing, and make it much larger than reality. None of us are perfect. It's important that we learn to forgive ourselves for being human. If you have not already done so, I encourage you to seek help from a trained OCD therapist. They not only know ERP, but they know you, what you're going through and how to treat it. NOCD can hook you up with a good one. Hope this helps.

Self compassion is an important step towards ocd recovery, its definitely not something that can be fixed over night but it helps chip away at all the guilt and shame that we usually experience. I can definitely relate, especially when I get triggered, my first instinct is to ask myself why would I ever think that or put myself down for being triggered. There’s a podcast i can share about self compassion and ocd if you would like to look into it! Sending u hugs

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Hiii girly, I relate to this so much. Honestly it felt like I was reading my own brain. I get stuck in those same shame loops over things that aren’t actually wrong, but my mind decides they’re “weird” or that people are judging me. For me it shows up a lot in friendships. I overthink every interaction, replay stuff from years ago, and if I’m not included in something I take it as a sign that I’m rejected or that I don’t belong. It hits way harder than it should and it sticks with me for weeks. It’s that same heavy shame feeling you described. I’ve also wondered if it’s fully OCD, trauma, anxiety, or a mix of all of it. ERP helped with some things, but the shame part feels different and harder to shake. Just wanted to let you know you’re definitely not alone in this. what you wrote really resonated with me.

Hi girl, I also related hard to this. I’ve changed a lot, especially since I was in high school. So many little (and big) things I did then I would absolutely not do now. And I have so many regrets, things I wish I could take back. I worry a lot about what people from back then think of me or remember me. Once I get past one memory, another one pops up and I just can’t take it.

Hey girl! I do experience this. Something that has helped me is talking back to my OCD and giving my thought of “What if they think I am a bad person or would harm their child.” I kind of talk back to it and say “Maybe they do, maybe they don’t.” it has helped me tremendously.

Hi again. (I used to be someone99 and changed my nickname recently. 😬) It may be a result of OCD, because OCD causes us to be very critical of ourselves. Shame is something I struggle with as well, and it's something that will breed in darkness, in our inner thought life, and yes, all too often it comes from a place of hurt. For me, healing begins when I get real with God. My value comes from who I am in God's eyes. Our peers can be brutal and only reinforce what our critical inner voice tells us that we don't measure up, but knowing that I am loved unconditionally by a God who created me and holds me as his own, is a good place to rest. So yeah, I'm weird, but I one it. And God loves me. And I can love others because God loved me first. If I remember, you moved a far distance not too long ago. I hope all is going well for you. Glad to hear from you again, even though it's about struggles, but we're all here for you. :-)