Help with relationship?

Hey guys!!! My boyfriend and I have been going through a rough time these past couple of months. He truly is wonderful and means the world to me. We both recently graduated, and while I’m at a community college and he’s at a university about three hours away, the change has still been really hard. We went from seeing each other almost every day to suddenly not, and even though we aren’t technically long-distance, it feels very different…especially with everything else going on. On top of that, my parents are still in the process of getting a divorce, and I’m dealing with a lot of personal things of my own. This is also the first time both of us have been struggling at the same time. He doesn’t really have friends where he is right now and has been feeling really lonely. When he would come home, he leaned on me a lot for support, and I wanted to be there for him. But because he had so much on his plate, I felt like I couldn’t fully express how I was feeling without adding more to his stress. Over time, that led me to feel emotionally disconnected. We haven’t been intimate in a while, and we also haven’t had many deep, heartfelt conversations.. especially from my side. I was holding things in because I didn’t want to overwhelm him, but doing that started to affect me more than I realized. We’ve talked about fixing things, and he really is trying. I see the effort. But for some reason, my brain can’t tell what feels real and what doesn’t anymore. It’s hard for me not to assume things were forgotten or overlooked, because that was one of our first issues. Even now, despite the effort he’s putting in, I can’t seem to shake that feeling. I know a lot of this probably stems from my parents’ divorce. When they told me, it made me question everything about my childhood. I always thought I had a perfect family, and now it feels like the foundation I trusted cracked… so I’m second-guessing everything else too, including my relationship. I love him, and I want this to work. I’m just trying to navigate a lot of change, grief, and confusion all at once, and it’s been harder than I expected. Any thoughts? 😕💕

Anonymous

Date posted: 14h

I also had a struggle in my relationship, I wouldn't tell him what upset me because I was scared of stressing him out even more, in my case it lead to me being really upset at him and eventually we had a really big talk about it, we are fine now but if both parties are willing to make it work and communicate then you will figure this out! You have a partnership so you have to act as a unit, communicate with him, if you are scared if its too much for him maybe just let him know? Like "hey I have some big feeling or wanna chat about something, is now a good time or later?" Itll let him figure out when he is free and can clear up that mental space for you so you two can chat and grow together! Long distance is hard, but if you are both willing you can make it work!

kroo

Date posted: 13h

I know it's hard when neither of you feel like you're on very solid ground, but it sounds like you are better together. Take this as a learning experience about each other and you'll ultimately get through it. Every couple goes through patches, and the strongest ones love each other after it

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 9h

It seems like you are very aware of how psychology plays a role in all of our lives. And that awareness is awesome!! Everything that you are saying makes sense in why you feel the way that you do. I have a question: How does OCD play a role in all this? So far, nothing you have said seems rooted in OCD. However, "Relationship-OCD" is all about questioning love for a significant other. It makes us ruminate over the flaws of others. Do you think that is going on? Or do you think your feelings are outside of OCD?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond