Long distance

My bf and I are long distance. I haven’t seen him since early April and we were both looking forward to my prom next March because we could see each other. Turns out the day of my prom is while my bf is on a school trip that he can’t be refunded for and he signed a waiver saying he can’t back out. He isn’t able to visit before or after and I’m crushed. I’ve been sobbing the entire day and he’s bummed but he isn’t that affected by it (he’s js not an emotional person). I get to visit him for his prom the month after but those are the only two times out of the entire year we get to see each other. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it let alone talk to him. I’m not mad at him I’m just so upset and don’t want to put it on him. I’m so angry at myself for not being able to let it go and I hate that there is nothing that can be done. I’m obsessing about it so bad and I have a really bad headache from crying. I just don’t know how to get over it and I don’t want to obsess about this for months or let it impact me but I know it will. I don’t know what to do or how I’m just supposed to get over it. I hate how dramatic I’m being

Ovis

Date posted: 14h

Im not good with relationships, but i dont think you are dramatic - you just lost half of the time you get to spend with your loved one in a whole year - it is a big deal. Did you speak to anyone about it? Venting really helps in such situations (at least to me) and maybe try to call him more often, or video-chat, to make up for the lost time. I know it wont be the same, but its better than nothing, right? I hope you can stop these meanies😾(intrusive thoughts) from ruining the time you could spend differently. Also, I wish you the best times during your boyfriend's prom - make the best of it!

Phobalys

Date posted: 14h

@Ovis Thanks so much! I spoke to him about it a little bit and it helped me make sense of my brain. You’re very sweet thank you

Phobalys

Date posted: 14h

More: I kind of realized why it’s having such an effect on me. Cause of my ocd my brain simply cannot except this and thinks I need to fix it. It’s like my brain is on a road but it gets blocked by a huge wall, and there’s no way through or around. It feels like this is the only route and I NEED to get to the other side but I can’t and my brain js can’t accept that as an answer and I’m scared of obsessively looping it for months.

Ovis

Date posted: 14h

Yeah, I get it - its like a never-ending brain marathon. It gets exhausting. I usually try to (using your analogy) find small holes in the wall, just to stick my hand inside - to make small things, that i think will be a small part of what I cant do. It doesnt make it go away, but it helps me calm down and feel in control. It still feels like im useless sometimes, but a bit less than if I didnt do anything. Like, if my loved ones are sad, and I know I cant make their problem go away, i try to make small gestures, to support them and make them feel a bit happier, even if only a tiny bit

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