I hear you justifying his behavior that made you uncomfortable and caused you concern (“he obviously didn’t mean anything ill by it,” “he’s a good person,” etc.).
I’m confident I’m much older than you, so keep that in mind. From my perspective, if you don’t feel as excited to hang with someone you haven’t seen in long time after they sent you an image that crossed a moral boundary for you.
Are you sure you want to invite this back into your life? You lost contact with them at some point, ask yourself, “Was my life quality negatively affected when we lost touch, did it harm me? Or, was I more at ease when he wasn’t around?” You have a prior record of your life with this person, and now you have a record of life without this person. Toss out any temporary longing/craving/missing emotions because they’re transient emotions that arise during transitions.
My gut suggests that you already know this person might be a liability to your moral compass, your integrity.
I believe we should make a habit of surrounding ourselves with people that help us grow; people of integrity; people that help us repair, restore, and rise regardless of their race, gender, religion, age, or disability. They are worthy of our valuable time. We should try to avoid giving away our precious time by surrounding ourselves with people that disrespect our values, our honor, our loved ones, our faith, our morals.
Your post makes me believe that your heart agrees with those last three sentences. But here’s the bottom line:
“If it’s not helping your garden grow, tend to it in the know, invasive weeds gotta go.”
Note: I’m not in favor of familial (whatever you perceive that to be) estrangements, but accept that as a last resort to protect yourself or loved ones, that may be necessary. But I read your comment as you are offering to re-invite this historical person into your circle. Not opening the door is very different than kicking someone from inside out and then changing the locks.
I know you’ll make the right choice for you. ❤️
