SO OCD thoughts

Hi! I’ve recently come out to myself as a lesbian and it’s been great. This label makes so much sense and I find a lot of peace within it….then came the intrusive thoughts. I feel like I’m hyper aware of my attraction to men when watching TV. Like if a guy that is aesthetically hot is on my screen, I’m like questioning if I’m attracted to him. Ik that aesthetic attraction is very different than romantic attraction, but those thoughts of “ am I REALLY a lesbian” come up for me and it’s honestly terrible. Every single day I have these thoughts ( at least once a day!!! And it lasts for hours ugh). I think im scared because I love being a lesbian. Any advice on how to fix this?

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

For me, it’s the opposite lol! It always helps for me to know that someone with the opposite orientation goes through the same. I identify as straight, and even consider myself to be a bit flexible: if there’s a woman who I consider aesthetically attractive or who is gorgeous, my OCD starts to pick at me. I start to doubt attraction towards men if I find them attractive and start to hyper monitor my attraction to women. It makes me feel bad, because no matter how I spin it, admitting I’m straight or gay, admitting I’m attracted or not, the spirals never end- they’re sticky. Don’t think of it as something to fix. Think of it as brain noise. You are not your thoughts, but the awareness behind them. Trust that you know who you are and that the thoughts are OCD. You aren’t obligated to prove or disprove the thoughts. ❤️

sbastian06

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous Wow thank you sooo much for this 🥲 ocd is genuinely so tormenting. It makes so many things feel so heavy even tho it really shouldn’t feel that way. You are so right: I am not my thoughts. that’s such an important thing to remember. I deeply appreciate your response🩷

OCDandHealing

Date posted: Yesterday

As a lesbian myself, I have these thoughts too. In fact, when I go through breakups with women, I CONVINCE myself somehow to be with a man again and I’m always so unhappy and come out again. It’s pretty exhausting. I think the societal pressure of heterosexuality gets us esp with ocd thinking. Also, I’m not sure if you’re fem-leaning in anyway but I am and that also gets me too.. the thought of how I look goes well in a heterosexual relationship and am I wrong for not doing that? I totally get it. What helps me is remembering I don’t have to ever force myself into a box of any sexuality and go with how I feel and what works for me.. and it always comes back to women ❤️

sbastian06

Date posted: Yesterday

@OCDandHealing Thank you so much for this response. It’s really nice to hear this from another lesbian <33 I struggle really badly with comphet :/// I think since coming out I’ve been able to point it out more, but ocd makes it feel worse. I think I feel doubts because I’ve never been intimate with a man ever, and I’m like “how would you know if you’ve never tried”…but my body has always given me signs around men that tell me I’m not interested in trying. Why can’t my brain believe what my body has been telling me since childhood 😭 I am a fem too but I honestly feel like that makes me fit more into lesbian standards lol. Maybe because I’m defying stereotypes of all lesbians being masc. I also always come back to women :) ty for this

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond