ROCD

When I’m in this situation, it also works (erp wise) to accept that the worst is true. And not do anything to fix it. So you can say “I do have a crush on this other guy, which makes me feel horrible” and then resist ruminating on it. It feels bad but this is another way to do erp when uncertainty is hard to grasp.

ocd does that. your brain will make everything seem reasonable and sensible to you in the moment, but it is not. what exactly is going on?

That’s a tough one. It may be true, it may not be true. Your compulsion is the gathering of evidence and and endlessly trying to analyze and figure it out. So as I understand it, you don’t want to repeat the OCD compulsion that follows the thought that you may like someone else. You want to break that cycle. Instead of going in circles worrying about it, say “maybe I do, maybe I don’t. But I’m not going to try to figure it out. Plus, you have a choice. Even if you did like someone, you have the choice to either respond to those feelings and decide to spend time with him, or go out with him, or whatever option it is you have as a next step. But, just because you may like someone new, doesn’t mean it’s the road you are propelled towards and will take! Your other choice is also available to realize that this happens sometimes to people, and because your present relationship is so important and you love him dearly, you decide to not act on your feelings of like. You can decide you want stability, you realize that everything is exciting when you first meet someone and it’s not uncommon, but u also know that you don’t know this new person. He may be a player, he may have qualities you don’t know about that only time will reveal. That’s what you have with your current bf, you know him well, this took time, and it’s a supportive loving relationship that you don’t want to mess up and cause yourself confusion and heartache. The fact remains, you have the choice! The fact it’s causing you so much angst is that you’re jumping ahead to the future in your mind, you are already with the new guy and jumping ahead to how can I do what I don’t agree with, how can I do what is out of character for me? But you’re there and you don’t like it. You are already in the future with no choice! What they want you to do is say maybe I do or don’t like him, I’m going to clear my mind, not engage in trying to get rid of being uncomfortable by trying to figure it out and jump to the future. Stay in the present and you get used to not giving into the compulsions. Clear your mind of those thoughts of do I or don’t I, I have to figure this out. Just sit with maybe, maybe not. You ALWAYS have a choice. You are breaking your compulsion habit. People like other ppl they aren’t with all the time. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong, with them or their current relationship. It may just be that you decide to remove yourself from interactions with the new guy, you can realize that this happens, but it’s what you decide to do with it that’s important.