fear of being hated

I've been thinking about this. When I was 12, I downloaded Discord and met people I truly regret. Basically, they treated me badly and asked me for pornographic drawings, but I still hung up on them because at the time they were my only company. I'm scared of what they say about me, I'm afraid of running into them again, and especially that people will find out that when I was a kid, I went along with their nonsense and said stupid things to get their attention, and then my other friends will find out and hate me. I'm 16 now, but I still can't get it out of my head. It's going to sound stupid, but sometimes I have nightmares about them.

playwithyour...

Date posted: Yesterday

hey, it’s okay. everybody makes mistakes. and you were a kid! heck you still are a kid! (and I’m only 26 tbh) but I have SUCH a different worldview now than I used to. You can accept that that happened, and accept that you don’t love it. It’s all okay 🫶 You have a whole lifetime to make different friends (and drawings lol) and do anything you want to! I often experience anxiety, and sometimes it’s in anticipation of something. While there can be merit to consciously preparing for a conversation or something, I found myself fixating and pre-hashing things so often that it exhausted me and made me nervous and it just wasn’t helpful. What I do is: Realize I am having an imaginary conversation and say to myself “oh, i realize i am having an imaginary conversation” and I don’t have to have that conversation anymore! you can move on to a new activity It can be helpful to /notice/ your thoughts that allows you an opportunity to pivot! What hobbies to you have? do you like sketching!? how about watercolor or crochet. I have loved learning all of these through youtube videos :) Be Well 🌞

playwithyour...

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous Ooo!!!! okay I have more advice I always struggled with some self esteem or worry about other peoples opinions. I did things (or didn’t do things) to avoid being noticed at all!! i regret it. I wish I was as weird and creative and deeply genuine as I was in the inside with my friends. Something I have learned is that if you have a strong opinion of who you are, then other people’s opinions matter less to you. You are confident, less concerned about being misunderstood, and less anxious about IF people won’t like you. For me, and I suspect this is true for you, I kinda liked me, other people liked me! I was just worried that they mIGht not???? I scared myself out of BEing myself! you can answer the 36 questions to fall in love on your own! (it’s not sad it’s building a good self connection) Get to know yourself really well!! You are going to be your adventure buddy for the rest of your life! and you can do almost anything you want :) You’re lucky to have such a good friend who knows you so well who will always be with you (also somatics/yoga/sports are a great way to connect with yourself body and the present moment)

Stay.Fluid

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

Does not sound stupid at all. Sorry you are going through this. Try and remember you’re catastrophizing and that you are not truly experiencing any of your fears surrounding these people.

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