Birthday advice

Hi everyone. So tomorrow is my birthday. Unfortunately, I’m not the biggest fan of my birthday but would love some advice on how to go about it! I’ve been okay over the last few months and am nervous about everyone expecting me to feel happy and excited tomorrow. This pressure sort of ruins it for me because it’s unauthentic and I’m in my head about their expectations instead of enjoying the moment. I always want to have the perfect day or everything go right but I’ve started to avoid planning anything because my mood can be pretty unpredictable. For example, I really want to wear this all black outfit tomorrow but I may get to tomorrow and no longer be in the mood to wear it. This is so annoying but it happens. I never really hear other people share similar frustrations about things like this. It’s what I wanted but then I put it on and it doesn’t feel right or I don’t look how I want to look in that moment anymore. It’s incredibly frustrating. I could have an endless amount of questions over what I want to wear, how I feel when I’m wearing it, if I appear to others the way I want to be appearing to them, etc. It’s like I want to be wearing the perfect outfit but I still could be and I could look the mirror and feel wrong about it. Anyway, I just want to have a good day tomorrow. I’m sad because I don’t have anything planned. However, I find spontaneous moments the most enjoyable. I’m sort of stuck. I’m sorry this isn’t super ocd related but I know I’m overthinking it so much. I feel like from the moment I wake up, I’m going to be thinking about how others are thinking about me. I could find something wrong with every outcome of what could happen tomorrow. Lately, I’ve just been more sad, anxious, quiet, and slow. I’m already exhausted by the idea of getting all these sweet texts and calls from people while I might not be feeling my best. Ironically, messages like this make me feel more alone because of how superficial the interactions feel while I’m silently just wanting comfort and peace in all the chaos and overwhelm I’m feeling. There’s little I hate more than masking and pretending and it’s the last thing I want to do on my birthday. I’d honestly appreciate any thoughts or ideas. Thanks for patience in reading all this. Thanks guy. Happy holidays 🫶🏼🫶🏼

Court

Date posted: 17h

I struggle with birthday anxiety too! In the past I have put a lot of pressure on myself to have a great day or for everyone else to enjoy the day too. But the truth is, its just one day. I think with social media birthdays have turned into this massive thing. Back in olden times people maybe got cake and thats it! Maybe you can think of just one thing tomorrow that would bring you a bit of joy. It doesnt have to be big. And you can tell yourself that even if it is just a normal day, that is ok. I actually know a lot of people who don't like their birthday. Its okay if you have complicated feelings about it!

maybeitsocd

Date posted: 17h

@Court Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions ❤️ very kind, I appreciate it

Coret

Date posted: 17h

This might sound counterintuitive…could you embrace the indecision with some silliness and irreverence? Like saying “I wonder how many times I could get dressed and redressed on my birthday? Could each outfit get a little more fancy or more mismatched just for fun?” Or deciding to put your phone on auto response saying “I’m trying a new unplugged birthday tradition…thank you for your note, I’ll see it when it’s time to plug back in!” (Also kind of leaves it open ended so you don’t have to reply later) Or since you’re feeling slow…call it a sloth day. Make it a sloth themed birthday. Watch sloth videos on YouTube. See how slow motion you can walk across your bedroom. Have fun being ridiculous in the privacy of your own space. And remember this mantra (my favorite from the little girl in me who says this with a bit of an attitude) “I can do WHATEEEEEVER I want!!”

maybeitsocd

Date posted: 11h

@Coret I appreciate how creative this is. Thank you. Might give it a shot lol

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