Hi everyone

I was in a relationship for over a year. This was my first relationship and that’s how my OCD started. I have never been diagnosed, but I often found myself feeling guilty about having thoughts about other guys to the point where I would have to tell him. If even got the point where I started picking him apart and guilty spilling everything little thing i didn’t like about him to his face. We broke up in February. We had a pretty messy after breakup. He has told me now that he needed to break up with me to find himself again, he was graduating high school and was very busy and couldn’t deal with me. At the time, I wouldn’t leave him alone because i wanted to fix everything. After a while of him being nice, he began to be very rude to me and ended up blocking me. Now he is back in my life and has basically told me he is open to a relationship again. I told myself that if we did this again it would be so different especially with my OCD. Well it’s back and i feel like it’s just as persistent as it was before. The ten months we were broken up i was so happy and none of this OCD stuff bothered me which makes me think it’s specifically connected to my ex which makes me super frustrated but it’s to the point where i can’t even think about anything else and im not in the present moment. Has this happened to anyone else?

miriamlovesJ...

Date posted: 14h

That being said, sometimes being in a relationship can trigger things in us that need healing. It has less to do with the person and more to do with our own vulnerability and fears that came before them. A relationship will expose these parts of us where other relationships (friends and family) won’t. I can see why it’s frustrating to you because you’ve only dated this guy, so you wonder if it only has to do with him. Maybe it does and maybe it doesn’t, but in my experience it had way less to do with the man and so much more to do with my own wounds that need healing!

Sleepyhallow88

Date posted: 13h

@miriamlovesJesus Thank you so much for replying! I had a brief talking stage with someone else shortly after the breakup but i was too scared to commit because of my previous relationship. With him i never had anything like OCD even though i explained to him everything that happened with my previous relationship. That just makes it feel like my OCD it completely tied to the first guy but im not really sure.

miriamlovesJ...

Date posted: 13h

@Sleepyhallow88 Totally, gotcha! I had my first serious relationship where I experienced rocd, dated two other guys but neither of them were longer than 3 months/I didn’t truly see a future with them (therefore I didn’t really experience rocd), but in this one I see a future and feel safe with him, and I think my body is now reacting again the same way it did in my first relationship! I’m not totally sure how it works, but maybe less about the person them self, and m

miriamlovesJ...

Date posted: 14h

I don’t know your relationship as well as you do, but I can say for my own experience that I’m a lot more at peace when single as well. I was in a previous year long relationship and broke it off because I couldn’t explain why I was so anxious even tho he was a great guy. I’m now in another relationship and it’s serious - we are near getting engaged! But I’ve struggled again with similar anxiety and fear of uncertainty. It’s been hard to not run away to avoid my anxiety, but I’m learning how to confront it and taking steps to find healing for myself and also sharing what is wise with him and how he can support me well in this!

miriamlovesJ...

Date posted: 13h

* more about the seriousness of the relationship & how vulnerable you feel!

Sleepyhallow88

Date posted: 13h

@miriamlovesJesus Yes i completely agree on the seriousness part. That relationship was the first serious thing i had. I also realized i probably experienced limerence because i just thought he was so perfect. The self sabotage was just so annoying tho like why couldn’t i have just let myself have a good thing. How do you cope with your thoughts? For me i sometimes can’t even think about anything else even when i don’t try to think about him.

miriamlovesJ...

Date posted: 12h

@Sleepyhallow88 I try to call out my thoughts as ocd when I can. It definitely can get tiring to do, but I try to acknowledge it for what it is & continue doing things that are inline with my values. Even if it scares me to talk about marriage with him, I know that is a wound in me, not a reflection of how he makes me feel. I choose to do scary things that align with my values and not let the fear win! Sometimes way easier said than done, but I also think about what would healthy me want me to do? If I didn’t have ocd, what choices would I be making if fear wasn’t involved?

Sleepyhallow88

Date posted: 12h

@miriamlovesJesus Wow you are so knowledgeable and you seem like you have everything under control. Thank you so much for opening up my eyes and helping me❤️

miriamlovesJ...

Date posted: 12h

@Sleepyhallow88 I’m glad you see that. Some days I definitely don’t feel that way. It really is day by day! And having my faith in Jesus really helps me stay grounded through it all. If I have Him ultimately I have all I need. Something else I’ll mention that’s helped me personally is starting medication. I started in August on Zoloft after talking to my therapist and psychiatrist & that has mainly helped lower my anxiety and gives me more room to manage my emotions and thoughts!

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