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- 5y
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- 5y
I know! Maybe start a sport or focus on doing volunteer! Many things can help if we let it! Start meditation! This things are way cheaper than doctors and sometimes have the same impact!
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- 5y
I like Chrissie Hodges. Shes kinda crazy, talks a lot, has a chaotic energy that is similar to mine. Admits her imperfections, rambles, laughs at her own jokes. A lot of this OCD business is serious, bleak and punitive. Fun to check in with people who are squishy and funny.
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- 5y
Yeah she cheers me up and gives me some hope.
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- 5y
Thing that happens to me when OCD kicks off is I get very serious and quiet. Usually I'm pretty wacky and loud, make stupid decisions, act eccentric etc. But OCD kicks off and yeah I shut down and get veeeeery perfectionistic and serious. Like, somber. Like the end of the world is coming. Anything that can snap me out of that, usually doing quick exposures, chatting to friends, listening to someone ramble on like chrissie. People always used to tell me I intellectualise too much, think too much. Its true!!!! Love it when that noodle soup evaporates
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- 5y
Yeah same, it’s telling me I’ll like it when I accept it.
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- 5y
I have the same! Start therapy! People like us need to learn how to distinguish reality from sensations! Alone we're not able! Stop searching on the internet it only made me worse!
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- 5y
That’s exactly what I struggle with what thoughts are real and not.
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- 5y
Scared to waste money on therapy in case it doesn’t work
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- 5y
I'm in therapy, but my therapist isn't good and I can't afford anyone else at the moment. I'm looking for work, no luck yet.
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- 5y
@hateocd123 I’m also looking for work but I was focusing on getting better first but then I need money so
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- 5y
@JS0406 I feel you! And that's hard! But you need to stop thinking if it's real or not! @JSO406 if you have the money go for it! I believe we can all cure! After all we've been OCD almost since we were born! I had so many ocds that I lost the count! But none of them stayed forever! Because OCD is like this!
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- 5y
@Mimi123 I can say that I've been through a bunch of other themes before as well, but none of them have affected me as badly as this one, mostly because now there's another person involved, my boyfriend.
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- 5y
@Mimi123 I didn’t think about ocd before this I just thought I was overthinking but I don’t know if this counts as ocd but i had a fear of my parents dying and would look at life expectancy charts everyday, every time we passed a junction on the road I would hold on to the side of the car because I thought if I didn’t the car would crash into the side of our car, checking my body for lumps everyday and looking up health symptoms does that sound like ocd I didn’t think anything of it at the time ?
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- 5y
Can’t even focus on looking for jobs
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- 5y
There are a lot of YouTube channels that are helpful. Try find an accountability partner for a few weeks. Set some goals and stick to them. You can probably find a skype specialist somewhere in the world who isnt that much money. Get any job you can find that pays reasonable money. The structure it brings you will also provide relief from the abyss, then you can invest in mental health support. At the very least, listen to podcasts and Q+As, e.g. Mark Freeman / Ali Greymond. Listen to the OCD Stories interviews. Get informed. Start using what you learn to support people on here. Until you complete a course of exposure therapy with an experienced OCD therapist you will probably be quite limited by compulsions, but theres loads you can do while getting to that point. Remember that procrastination is also a compulsion, as is judging stuff, as is excessive phone use. They all feed into the big scary ones.
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- 5y
Yeah I watch Chrissie Hodges.
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- 5y
What do I do in the meantime? I feel like I'm dying
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- 5y
Yeah same I’m going mental
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- 5y
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- 5y
Yeah watched that video yestrerday
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I had a bad rumination spiral yesterday and went to bed hoping I’d start over in the morning. I was wrong. I had dreams about liking women and not being attracted to men anymore and my entire body has been in a state of anxiety since. I genuinely feel like I’m gay and just need to accept it. I have this urge to accept it. Maybe if I do I’ll get some sort of relief because this feeling is awful. I feel like my brain is telling me that I’ll get relief if I just accept it and come out. The intrusive thoughts don’t even seem to be around sexual images anymore, just to come out.
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- 22w
I am very depressed right now. I really feel like maybe I’ve always been a lesbian and never knew. I never questioned my sexuality when I was young, never wanted to explore, I just was straight and didn’t think anything about it, that’s just what it was. I had my first soocd spiral in late high school but didn’t have a name for it, just that I was having intrusive thoughts and it was killing me that maybe I was gay. I can’t exactly remember how I got out of that but I continued to have crushes, talking stages, and dated. It went away and that was that I guess. Looking back now I definitely was still avoiding content and certain people, and still had intrusive thoughts but didn’t think I was gay. I guess they were less sticky. Something about me is that I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’m a virgin. I’m very shy and romanticize things like I love the relationships and scenarios I read about or that I see in movies or the thirst traps online haha. So I want that irl but am disappointed when that doesn’t happen. I have a very interactive daydream (started when I was 13 and still continued that fantasy world now too) with a boyfriend, friends, and a prettier version of me. I enjoyed making up scenarios about sex or romance in those daydreams and fantasies, but when it came to real life, I would get shy or scared when things were starting to get serious with men. I thought maybe this was an avoidant attachment style but now I’m not sure. I never considered female fantasies and I still don’t want to right now. I want to test and see which one I like better, but I’m afraid I’ll find that I’m a lesbian and I really don’t want that. Ive always imagined myself with a man but now I’m worried about comphet. I’m really depressed and I can’t tell because yes, I find some women attractive whether it’s their makeup, face, body, aesthetic, but I never thought that meant I was attracted to them in a sexual or romantic way until this spiral. Now I’m afraid of masc lesbians and pretty women because it triggers me. But I’m also afraid because I feel like I can look at attractive men, but I don’t feel the same way anymore. I can’t even daydream about them bc then my brain inserts a woman. I’m really scared that I’ve lost myself, because I truly feel like I have, but I don’t want to explore with women, I just want to like men, I’ve always liked that idea. But so many lesbians talk about liking celebrities, fantasy men, or just attractive men. Sorry for the rant but I’m struggling a lot right now. I feel like all my memories, even the ones that directly contradict being a lesbian, can be explained away by comphet, internal homophobia, denial, suppression, etc. When I do try and accept uncertainty, sometimes it feels ok, but then something will trigger me and I’m back at square one. I’m afraid if I take my meds I’ll discover something about myself that I don’t want to because I’ve always been depressed and avoidant of life because it never lives up to my expectations. My sexuality is on my mind 24/7! I can’t take it!
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- 12w
So I’m afraid that I have HOCD, but at the same time that I might also be homosexual. Is that possible? I have all the typical compulsions… checking for attraction, analyzing thoughts, analyzing the past, analyzing emotions, searching the internet. Is it really HOCD? When I see anything related to LGBT, I get strongly triggered. Sometimes I observe how my body reacts around people, but most often I check with ChatGPT to calm myself down, although it doesn’t last long—it depends. I also compare myself to other straight women who look like lesbians, or to lesbians who look like they’re straight. I had a phase where I was analyzing my body… whether I have too much hair, whether I have an Adam’s apple, whether I act like a lesbian without realizing it. I also have the typical intrusive thoughts like “did something from the past actually mean something, or is it a sign?” “am I just lying to myself?” “what if I’m in denial?” “what if I’ve ignored signs my whole life and lied to myself?” “what if I’ll never be able to fall in love with a guy?” “what if there are too many signs and proofs and it’s true?” “what if it’s not HOCD at all?” And much more. But now I’m scared that it’s both—that I have HOCD and that I’m homosexual. I’ve cried multiple times because of this and it’s been going on for 7 months. Some days are better, some are worse. And there’s so much ‘evidence’ that I won’t even list now—over these seven months I’ve found so many things from my past and dreams that I feel like there has to be something to it. I’ve also had around four panic attacks because of this. And I truly believe I have HOCD and that I’m also homosexual, which is killing me and it feels horrible. I just want to be sure that im straight and be at peace. When im doubting and thinking that im a lesbian i feel like im not at peace and i hate it. But u feel like i just need to accept it but i don’t want to and i just want to have a boyfriend, kids but im scared that it’s not possible for me because im lesbian and i actually just think that i want a boyfriend but in reality i don’t. Ughhhh help me.
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