- Date posted
- 8w
- Date posted
- 8w
Hi. I’m a woman, but I can empathize with what you’re saying in a way. Obviously I’m here because I struggle with OCD. I have since I was very little. In so many ways… but aside from that I am a person that loves people. And I always felt guilt about that when being in a relationship too. Like if I was giving my attention and love to other people then that’s not fair to my partner. Or if I find other people beautiful or attractive that means I’m cheating. One day I came to a realization that I only want to be with someone that loves me the way I am. When I got into the current 8 year relationship I’m in now, we had a long talk about all the things that I expect from our relationship and what he expects as well. Mostly to see if they can align with one another. But for me, one thing I said I needed from my partner, was to love me for the way I love people. I made a commitment and agreement to stay monogamous when it comes to sexual relations, because for me it’s not about sex, but mentally is different. I said to my partner, I fall in love with something about each person I meet and get to know. And I do it on purpose because I believe that loving something about someone makes them feel seen. And I want them to feel seen and loved. But loving someone also means you see people beautifully. I asked for trust in himself, trust in me, and trust in our relationship. And I have that. Not just because I asked for it, but because we made a commitment to one another to always be honest and open with each other. For me being able to be honest with myself and my partner and knowing they are honest back and we can talk through the scary insecurities, makes such a difference in that guilt and those bad thoughts that run through our heads. Unfortunately with ocd even when you conquer one area, it often will show up somewhere else in life… so that’s something to be aware of. But again. Be honest with yourself and your partner. Sending you lots of positive energy through these hard feelings.
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