Hello,
I want to start by saying I have the exact same thoughts, and the only concerns I have would be dealing with the post traumatic stress symptoms.
These are thoughts that many people have. Being exposed for past mistakes, thinking authorities will get involved, thinking you'll face judgement, the only thing you can do in this situation is accept that it happened. I'm sorry, it sucks that it's the only way, but nothing else will work in the end. Ignoring stuff like that doesn't make it go away, neither does acting on it. You don't have to remember specific parts of it if you don't want to, but you also cant pretend it never happened, because the realization that you were ignoring it can lead to more fear.
So, what is the solution?
The solution is to take the next step. The step towards living your life, I'm not telling you to just "get over it," no, what you went through was completely valid and I will always be here to talk to you if you ever need to vent or just need someone to listen to about it, no pressure. These event were in the past and not the current time for a reason, you are safe right now, and that is what matters most. I can't promise you that everything from that situation will magically 'cease to exist,' however I can promise you that you are safe, currently and moving forward. This isn't something to fight or neglect, it's something to let go. Forgetting the situation is fine, but don't force yourself to forget, get comfortable with keeping it in the back of your mind, but at a distance. That's not avoidance, it's mindfulness. What I'm saying is to not think about every single detail or continue investigating what happened, because I can tell you that no one else has that intent. It's in the past, and you have grown as a person. I can tell you, however, that you can allow the thought to pop into your head by itself from time to time, and you can say to yourself, "Hey, that did happen. Anyway, I'm going to continue on with my day," doing this wont immediately make all of the pain you are feeling inside and outside magically go away, but it does suppress the amount if anxiety you feel from it every time you remind yourself it happened, and now its not happening. You are safe now, and you whats in the past is not worth it, everyone knows that my friend, so don't worry.
