OCD feels different for everyone, and there's no "wrong" way to explain your experience. What does it feel like to you? A bully in your brain? An alarm that won't shut off? Share your perspective in the comments.
A bully in the brain for sure. But more specifically, it's like watching an un-skippable ad-filled YouTube video on loud volume not being able to mute it or turn it off on repeat. A magical device even where it still plays if you unplug the power source. At that point, I either deal with it or try play something else in my head.
To me, it’s just having the worst imaginable thoughts in any situation pop up. The worst thing your brain can come up with in a completely normal conversation, or situation. And you just letting it happen and being cool with it
@Embo20 I understand how you feel it is absolutely the worst things you brain could ever come up with that fill your mind and torment you, it’s from the devil it must be because of the evil things the scary things the intrusive thoughts that go in my brain are unbearable at timesI pray for all that is on this page for relief
It definitely starts off as an alarm, like my nervous system is sensing that SOMETHING is wrong. Then the endless thoughts an images pop up and it’s my amygdala that doesn’t know better, trying to find a connection to the alarm. So then it’s a matter of living with a blaring alarm while living normal life. It can feel like a bully sometimes because the thoughts come in like just to ruin a good moment, but I know it’s more like a little kid that doesn’t know any better, and is scared and trying to remind me why I should be scared. The more you let the alarm and thoughts sit in the background the more you teach the amygdala it doesn’t need to be scared.
@Steven12 This is such an accurate depiction! Nice comparison to the amygdala like a child who doesn’t know better. It’s such a relief in practicing ERP over time, in that way, we start to know better and soothe that inner “child.” 😊
@Steven12 So true
@Shannanigans i like the username
Ocd feels like a monster that is laughing at me most times swearing that it will take my happiness away from me. No matter how much love and care i have, it doesn’t feel enough to overcome the brutal force that OCD turns into. It feels as if i no longer know or believe in my own self, my resolve and my ability to move forward without fear… fear feels paralyzing, fear feels like a reality… one that im obligated to watch and live in despite doing my best to keep on going with my life. Its a body ache that drags you down the more you move forward, making every decision you choose like a double edged sword. Ocd feels like a nightmare i never asked to be part of, but im being forced to experience anyways. Its violating, its brutal and heartbreaking.
@Hugo Richrd I know how that feels, it’s felt like in the past that OCD was purposefully ruining any pleasure I might have. I’ve come a long way after knowing that these repetitive thoughts and fears is just an overactive amygdala sending you potential threats. The amygdala is literally one of the oldest and DUMBEST part of our brains. It literally doesn’t know any better but it thinks it’s protecting you. When I see it like a child that is afraid of everything, very much like one of my own children. Dad, what about this and that, are monsters real? Can this hurt me? I respond as I would like my own child, oh no, we don’t have to worry about that or maybe but we’re not in any danger now. Over time you train your amygdala that these thoughts are not a threat, it will fight you on it and send new things to scare you but we have to patient, like we are talking to a child. We got this!
@Steven12 As a father myself, this is absolutely relatable.
It feels like I’m living in hell. Endless loop of my worst fear. Ruins all good happy moments it’s a bully that wants me to be miserable. It petrifies me at how you can spiral so quickly. There are no possible answers to the what if’s but what if. It is debilitating and absolute monster
Before it was more taboo stuff making me feel like a psycho. Now, it's a constant bully in my head evaluating my actions, intentions, past and future. At least the pocd is mostly gone??? Lol
It’s impossible to explain, I have tried explaining it to those close to me and to doctors since I was 12 years old. I have had about every form of it too besides germ ocd. The best way I can describe it is you never feel free, there is always a feeling of anxious doom in your head and on your back— whether it’s completely consuming you and you can’t function, or if you’re having a better day and it’s farther back in your head. It is never not there though, you don’t get a break or a day off from it. I would describe it as something worse than a bully, its like a parasite or a bloodsucker that follows you for your entire life making sure you never feel completely happy, calm, or sure of anything. It does not want you to be happy and will make sure you never completely are.
it may sound a bit crazy but it feels like this evil version of me. Like the real me tries to enjoy life and have fun and then the evil me keeps spitting unwanted thoughts and feelings at me, that make it so hard to enjoy anything.
It feels like a helicopter parent in my head (lol) that’s trying to protect me from things it thinks are dangerous.
OCD feels like tingling weight in my chest and throat that spreads out to my entire body. I can feel my body’s alarm system constantly on alert as it spreads out to my extremities. OCD feels like a ticking time bomb that reviews images by the millisecond in my head
Hell
Its like trying to describe your ocd experience but too overwhelmed
Regret for a long time after responding to a trigger in the moment
It’s a boxing match with the heavyweight champion that won’t end. You dodge the jabs of the thoughts but sometimes they hit you so hard, you take an 8 count. You get saved by the bell and you head to your corner to try to breathe and center yourself just to hear the bell ring for another round. Sometimes I win the round and sometimes I lose. But I feel like I’m always in the corner, on edge, waiting for the next bell that I know is coming.
It is at times like a hacker that runs silent code. Some routines have become hard wired. Find myself doing things at home like washing hands almost without thinking on autopilot not always about contamination. It is that quiet doubter sometimes whispering did you touch that “contaminated” object. Realising that life will not end if ignored takes mental energy but is doable. If I ask myself if I had to tell the Lord God did I touch a contaminated surface the doubt goes. OCD is exhausting at times
My ocd can affect everything around me, and I have to dissect it, making it impossible for me to take anything normally anymore. The one I struggle with most is dissecting social activities, making sure I understand everything and that everything is perfect, but it never is and it makes me question myself as a person to the point where I can physically feel my brain spiraling. I forgot who I am and it pains me to look back at who I was and see how much I’ve changed :(
It feels like nothing is ever calm or right.
A big snow ball going down hill
Depends what ocd takes over me that day. I replay scenarios from my past count days go back review notes and hyper focus on anything going in on my body. So it can be health this day, then it flips to when my home got flooded I wake up at 2 3 am wondering and worrying my home is flooded. Or leave the home check the door a million times to then turn around 15 minutes later worrying and wondering if I closed the door. It’s so exhausting!!! A constant recorder playing in my head all day that doesn’t shut off!!! And I don’t know how to cope anymore.
I feel like it’s parasite just consuming my mindset and always taking over everything I’m always thinking about. Trying to tell me how to live and controlling me. It makes me feel depressed and out of control with my life. It ruins certain relationships I have and consume my social battery.
Constant doubt about everything. Replaying everything back in my mind constantly. It’s happening right now as I’m typing this. Always scared that something went wrong or bad happened. It started slow but now it is with everything. It’s horrible. Feels like I’m drowning in worry.
For me, it’s when I have one negative thought, and it completely takes over my mood for the next few hours. It could be the tiniest thing someone said or did, but I’ll get hung up on it and my mind just literally can’t let little things go. It’s exhausting not being able to just enjoy the moment.
to me, its more of an alarm than a bully. but it does shut off sometimes. sometimes nothing goes off, but when it does, it rings and rings and rings.
Constant terror
Like a alarm that I can’t shut off and a bully that won’t leave me alone
It’s exhausting sometimes. Tracking whether folks wash their hands, etc,
Like an idea that is your evil inner voice or ghost 👻 that controls how you think, live, e.t.c
I AM TRYING MY BEST TO BE OPTIMISTIC HERE BUT I LOVE HOW POETIC EVERYONE’S EXPRESSIONS IS! guys this is why people with OCD are actually oftentimes one of the smartest, creative people in the world. because we have been trying to out-creative the OCD bully in our brains. on the downside, it is damn tiring, and even compliments are not gonna elevate us🤷🏻♀️ “sure I am creative, it’s a survival skill, wanna try live in my head?”
The best way I can think of trying to describe what OCD is like for me is the character Phil Connors, played by Bill Murray in the movie Groundhog day. If you've seen it you get it, if you haven't seen it, you absolutely must watch it. The whole plot and concept is the cycle of OCD, realizing it, living with it, fighting it, over and over, repeat, repeat. Eventually, through time, experience, realization, exposure, comes clarity, and acceptance, and healing. "The ambiguity is intentional, highlighting Phil's journey from despair to self-improvement." "Ultimately, the exact duration isn't crucial to the story, but it emphasizes the immense personal growth Phil achieved before breaking free from the cycle."
Yes I describe it as Groundhog day, so accurate!
It feels like a distinctive ping pong ball bouncing around in my head causing me distress and to constantly think about obsessions. It feels like a torturer, a part of my brain that hates me.
“a bully” in general, but in my attempts to “bully the bully” by mocking it🤷🏻♀️ - the overreacting dramatic “safety guard”. - the CEO of the brain who think it has to do everything including the auditting job, and guarding the yard. - the “moral police” that would scream on my face every single second - the prison warden for the demon in the dungeon (i think i am a bad person to the core and I question myself “what if i really am actually a bad person to the core?” and is scared if i am actually a a bad person because I dont want to be a bad person) honestly, I dont think people would understand unless they have lived-in experience of being inside my head🤷🏻♀️ it’s tiring, at one point I gave up and be like “yes sure whatever, not gonna invest my energy listening to the voices” but can I really escape it if it’s shouting at me 24/7 up to the point i cant even sleep?
Exhausting...a constant battle..but I refuse to let it win
If daydreaming is taking a pleasant walk, ocd is that same walk but there are landmines buried all over the place.
I was once explaining all my rules and worries to my dad and he said “that’s a dictatorship.” I call my ocd a little dic now 😅
Having a phantom conjoined twin
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