My counselor says she thinks I have ocd from what she knows so far. It makes me uncomfortable to hear that and I keep thinking about her face when she said it. I have spent hours researching it and I can’t sleep because all I want to do it know more about it. I google search on my phone and read article after article. Is this like an obsession? I don’t really get it. But I feel like I have to be the expert on ocd all of a sudden and I don’t know why.

This is normal to want more knowledge on your illness so you can understand it and fight it! But if you start searching for reassurance or reading about other peoples ocd then I really highly recommend you dont

When I first learned about intrusive thoughts and ocd, I did so much research and read forums, articles, studies, watched you tubers and everything. I definitely used it as a compulsion and have stopped because it was only feeding my ocd. I think knowledge is power too though and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to know what is going on in your head! Just be careful to not let it be a compulsion!

OCD shows itself in different forms, and the way it shows itself doesn’t really matter. The truth is that we latch onto an intrusive thought and obsess over it (the thought doesn’t matter, the obsessing does) and it’s all just fear and anxiety-nothing more. There is no exact definition for OCD thoughts, feelings, or actions because we’re all different with different brains and thoughts and compulsions. You’re OCD will manifest itself as whatever scares you and it will make you feel like you need to do something about this irrational fear so you perform compulsions. It’s totally normal for ocd to look different in each sufferer, the similarity is the obsessing and compulsions.

Yeah but I can’t tell what is triggering it, it’s like any free time I have it’s there. And I see in this moment how obsessively searching about ocd is ocd but then in a lot of other places in my life I don’t see it.

Well I would refrain from searching them. You will get confused when you read someone’s situation that is similar to yours but you may not have the exact same symptoms and then this can trigger you to think if you even have ocd. It can be trouble ha

Yeah probably. And yeah that is my fear, what if I don’t have a correct diagnosis, a friend of mine has ocd and he thinks I don’t cause his looks so different.