So i know writing down helps me a lot ... thats why i decided to share my story . I hope somebody can help me. Since i was 14 years old my mom started to be very mad at me at leats 2-3 times in the week. She screamed at me for 1 hour until 3 hours. Things like that i was a horrible daughter and she would get mad over everything. Everyday i was afraid to come home because i knew that she would become mad when i did a little thing wrong. For example one day i forgot my makeup on the floor in MY bathroom and she threw it away. One day i took candy to school (its allowed) and for three hours she called me a thief. The even told her friends... it was a horrible feeling... one time they even told me that i had to move (i was 14 years old). I ran away a lot and it was a horrible feeling to know that my mom acted to me like that because i loved her so much. My psychiatrist told me that she had 2 personalitys and i think she takes pills now because since i was 17 it stopped. The reason of my ocd is my mom. Because she made me sooooo afraid to do something wrong. Now today an half hour ago she got mad at me again and at this point everything comes back and my OCD gets worse. How can i ever forget this or give it a place?????

Beth823

Date posted: 5y

??? That is terrible! My OCD has been shaped a lot by my dad (he has OCD too and I always felt as though I was never good enough), but fortunately I never experienced either of my parents treating me the way your mom has. I honestly can’t even imagine how hurt you must feel and can’t offer any suggestions based on my personal experience. But, maybe try to get some space away from her to allow you to get in touch with yourself and figure out who you are and how you feel about yourself without her getting into your head and convincing you that you are not enough or not worthy or a bad person. You don’t deserve that (no one does), and I hope that you are able to gain clarity and peace. ☮️ ?

Beth823

Date posted: 5y

Also, this is likely something that you will never FORGET, but maybe one day (EVENTUALLY) you will be able to forgive and move on, and if it continues, accept that that is the way she is and it has nothing to do with you which will take away the power she has to control how you feel about yourself and flare up your OCD. But it will probably take a while to become at peace with yourself before you are ready to proceed with forgiveness and acceptance.

sarax1998

Date posted: 5y

Yes i know it is hard to forgive her... she doesnt remember anything she ever said to me...like she was mad for 3 hours and then she said will we go shopping now?? It was so strange!! Im verry scared that she will act like that to my children (when i would havr them im 21 now)

Beth823

Date posted: 5y

@sarax1998 WOW! That’s tough. Is your mom under going treatment with a psychiatrist and/or therapist? Does she have a diagnosis in regards to what’s going on with her? I would maybe recommend looking into a family therapist that can meet with both of you at the same time to help you both work through the issues with your relationship together. Also, since you’re only 21 no need to worry about kids now; just try to focus on the present and addressing your current relationship with your mom. And hopefully by the time you have kids (if you even decide to have kids), this issue will be resolved. ????‍♀️

sarax1998

Date posted: 5y

@Beth823 No my therapist told me she had 2 personalitys but we wouldnt tell her because she wouldnt believe it. Thats also why she isnt in therapy...

sarax1998

Date posted: 5y

@Beth823 Thankyou for your support ♡

Beth823

Date posted: 5y

@sarax1998 No problem, I hope things get better for both of you. Also, not sure if it would help, but maybe the next time you mom acts like her “other personality” maybe try to record it without her noticing, and then when she returns to “normal” try discussing it with her and playing it back to her so she can hear it for herself. Not sure if she’ll accept that the recording is truly her, though. I still think the best option would be to see a family therapist / counselor ??‍♀️ with your mom, or see if your mom would go with you to one of your therapy sessions (if your therapist is on board with that). I really hope that her issues and your OCD are able to improve! ??

sarax1998

Date posted: 5y

@Beth823 Thats such a great idea!! Love it! She goes to a therapist to help her eating disorder maybe that will help too

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